Mom Life

Why I Wanted to Know My Baby’s Gender Early

A good friend of mine is pregnant and is keeping the gender a surprise until the end. She said she did the same with her son and really enjoyed it. I was on the opposite end of the spectrum and found out my baby’s gender at just ten weeks with the Materni-T21 test. I couldn’t wait one second longer than I had to!

know-baby-gender-early

I’ve never understand waiting. The moment you hear it, it’s a surprise whether it’s just a bean in your belly, or a baby ten months down the road. And I didn’t care about gender-specific clothes or colors, I just wanted to get to know this little person that was going to be living inside of me and sharing my body for many long months.

So to me, waiting seems like wasting months and months you could be connecting with your baby on a deeper level by giving your child a name, being able to picture them in your head and thinking of them as more than just a nameless fetus.

Pregnancy 7 weeks ultrasound

At 7 weeks, we dubbed him “Mr. Hanky” lol

But also, I went into my pregnancy much differently, so I needed that extra reassurance that he was real. Maybe if babies come easy, and nothing has ever gone wrong, you can have fun with it. You don’t worry every day that you might not hear the heartbeat, and you’re not afraid you may never have chance to meet them, so you don’t need to know whether your precious cargo is a girl or boy.

After a miscarriage, several failed fertility treatments and finally IVF, once I did actually make a baby I was over the moon with excitement but also scared to death something would go wrong. The one thing that got me through it was picturing my son over and over in my mind. Usually it was what he would look like as a toddler. I wanted to get past all the baby worry and focus on the future.

father and son

Our little guy, just a few days on the outside.

It was important for me to give him a name right away as well. I didn’t have one picked out ahead of time. I had no baby name I was saving. I searched and searched waiting to come across just the right one. And when I did, I knew it was perfect. And four years later, I couldn’t think of him with any other name.

So that’s why I needed to know my baby’s gender early. I didn’t do a big gender reveal, I didn’t create a gender-specific themed room (it was going to be blue either way), I just wanted to get to know the little person I was about to spend the rest of my life with and it was important for me to know who he was even before he was born.

So what about you? Did you find out your baby’s gender early? Why or why not?

10 replies »

  1. I wanted to know the gender right away also. I didn’t go through as much heartache trying to conceive but it took awhile with both. I named them both before they were born. Each had her own personal story before everything was happy at home (the first was 8wks early the second 11wks). I can see the “fun” in waiting but like you I wanted a deeper connection. I called them by name long before they shared the outside world.

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  2. I really wanted to find out ASAP with both of my boys, but my husband wanted to wait. We compromised by waiting until the anatomy scan—he wanted to wait until birth! Nope. I can’t do that.

    I am a planner. I wanted to have everything ready. And while I didn’t necessarily feel like boys MUST have blue planes and girls MUST have pink rosettes on everything, I wanted to be able to make that choice to get pink or blue things if I wanted to.

    Third time around is my time. It’ll be our last and I get to find out early. I already told my husband I’ll find a way to find out early, whether it’s through genetic testing or an early ultrasound at a boutique scan place!

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  3. I wanted to know early too! I’ve never been patient when it comes to finding out something excited. I’m not even very good at avoiding spoilers, lol.

    I wanted to know for some of the same reasons you mentioned. I wanted to give my baby a name and start thinking of them as the person they were going to be.

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