That one time, I posted about shark penis

I’m pretty new to my neighborhood, and I’m happy to be getting to know my new neighbors, I just didn’t think I’d be known for shark penis. Or claspers, if you will. I now know way more about shark genitalia than I need to.

See, we all thought it was a baby ray. We are always finding interesting things at the beach and one night during our evening stroll I spotted what I thought was a dead stingray. So of course I handed my son a stick and told him he could poke at it. We flipped it over to check it out, flipped it back, took pictures of the whole thing and then posted it to Facebook. This is where the penis comes in.

shark claspers

A friend responds to my post, pointing out it is not a dead ray, but in fact, “shark genitalia.” I was like, whaaaaaaat?? And also wondering why he knew that. I immediately Googled for more info and he was correct. It was shark genitalia I had been taking pics of and the rest of the shark was nowhere to be found.


In all my years at the beach, I have never run across any part of a shark besides teeth. So I went and posted the photo in our neighborhood Facebook group and that’s when things really started to blow up.

Some people were outraged about an alleged shark castrator on the loose, and others complained about those people being too sensitive. There were Tons of comments. Some people found various parts of the shark at other nearby beach accesses. The head was found about a block away.

Apparently, the real story is there were some fishing boats off shore that weekend and sometimes they chop up the usable parts and then throw the rest back in. I don’t think they’re supposed to do that, and I’m not really sure what transpired here, but I’m sure it wasn’t some weird anti-shark antics. I’m happy to say I haven’t ever seen anything like this since then. But there was one guy in the comments who might not feel the same way-

His comment- “Do you still have it? I’m very interested.”

Um. NO. WTF? He actually thinks I took this home??

I have no idea what he wanted shark claspers for, but I don’t plan on asking! The only shark parts I’m taking home from the beach are teeth. Unfortunately I’m not so good at finding teeth. But apparently, stick a random shark penis on the beach and I’ll spot that thing no problem.



The Overzealous Sales Friend

fb-sellingI decided to update my original post, because a few interesting things happened since I wrote this. Instead of backing off, sales moms seemed to take this as a challenge! Like, “That person didn’t sell it right, no you really need this, here try mine.”

My original post follows, along with updates:

If all you do is post about your home business, I’ve probably already stopped following you. If you are a well-rounded status poster that sneaks it in there when relevant, then you and I can still be friends. (This is still true)

Jamberry wonder woman nail wraps
My fancy Jamberry Wonder Woman nail wraps

So unless I am actually interested in said business, right now I do not need any leggings, fitness shakes, essential oils, purses, sports drinks, cookware or expensive skincare. Nor am I interested in joining your team and spending all my time bugging my friends to buy my stuff. (OK, so I have to confess, I got sucked into Jamberry nail wraps. I even agreed to do a Facebook party. So I did actually bug all my friends to come to my “party” all so I could get some free Jamberry stuff. Will I do it again? No. I didn’t enjoy being a pushy salesperson. And of course I was invited to join the team. I cannot imagine doing that over and over. It’s just not my thing.)

Yes I understand plenty of you enjoy it and make good money doing it. I’m glad you guys have a passion for what you do. It’s just lately it seems like every time I meet a new mom, she wants to sell me something. I’m happy to hear your sales pitch once, get it out of the way, then let’s just be friends. (This seems about half and half. I have met some new moms who are cool about their sales jobs, but some are just overly wrapped up in it)

If you guys threw more parties and plowed me with alcohol, I’d be more into it. I did go to one R&F get-together because I was promised mimosas and I’d get to wash my face. (my needs are simple) My face felt great, but not “sign up for the monthly delivery program and spend just under $200,” great. I’d need WAY more mimosas to agree to that. (The only party I’ve been invited to so far was my own, and it was on Facebook. BTW, that is NOT what I meant by Party)

lipsense flygirl red
My new favorite LipSense in Fly Girl

To be honest, I really would like to try that LipSense stuff, but one girl I know selling it sent me a sample of a bland color and no gloss so I didn’t get how I was supposed to test it out if I couldn’t even follow the directions she sent with it that expressly said to use it only with their special gloss. All it did was feel weird, then dry and weird. I think someone should throw a LipSense party where we all try a bright color and then eat and drink different things to test out the staying power. That’s the sort of thing I’d be into. (A funny thing happened after posting this – a LipSense rep read it and contacted me. I was impressed by her ballsy approach and blatant disregard for my rant about leaving me alone and actually agreed to sample it again. Guess what? I loved it. I bought 3 tubes and later went back for more. I even briefly contemplated being a rep but decided not to add anything else to my very full plate.)

So this concludes my random rant about everyone pushing their agenda. You guys keep on pushing! Just, you know, not at me, lol. (As a side note, I actually admire those who can do the pushy sales thing. It’s not me. I’m more like, you want to buy this? Cool. You don’t? Cool. I’m much better at reviewing and presenting info. I’m more of a passive sales person.)

**P.S. – Just to be clear, I’m Not a rep, this post was not sponsored by anyone and the links go directly to the product website.



The Colossal Hat Conundrum

We’ve been doing a lot of organizing and unpacking lately. Yesterday I ran across a big hat box and realized there was actually a hat inside. Not just A hat, but THE hat, as my husband calls it. It’s a hat with a story and a well-traveled history.

A few years ago my husband and I were invited to a family wedding in Ireland. My mother-in-law informed me I would be needing a dressy hat for the occasion. She said everyone would be wearing them and that people even rent them for special events! I’ve always been a fan of hats and jumped at the chance to go buy a fancy dress hat.

We arrived at Dillard’s to find that fancy hat selections were not all the plentiful but I did manage to find a lovely navy and white hat with a big burst of feathers. And since the special hat would be traveling overseas, I also bought a fancy hat box.

Have you ever wandered through an airport with a big hat box? Everyone has to ask you if there is a hat in there. I forgot to mention we decided if we were going that far, we might as well expand the trip, so I carried this hat from FL to NY, then to Paris, London, and finally to the wedding in Cong, Ireland.

That’s quite a hat!

After dragging that hat from country to country, I was very excited for the wedding day. I did my hair, got dressed and proudly stuck my fancy hat on my head before walking downstairs. I sensed something was amiss when family members giggled and told me “that’s quite a hat.” Another commented that I must be ready for the horse races. There was no going back on the hat decision (hat hair) so I decided to see it through and told them all if I was going to wear a hat it was going to indeed be “quite a hat!”

We arrived at the wedding to find all the ladies wearing fascinators. Little cute fascinators! I took my seat in the back so I wouldn’t block anyone’s view with my colossal hat. Me, my mother-in-law and a few grandmas formed an impressive back row big hat posse where I at least finally got some genuine compliments on my magnificent hat choice.

I ditched the hat after the ceremony, but dutifully put it back in its box and travelled with it through Ireland and back to the states. All the way telling people “yes it’s a hat…and it’s fabulous.”

I do still have the hat and am saving it for just the right occasion. Like maybe opening day at the races. Kentucky Derby anyone?



Unfinished business and the secret stash

I’m wondering if all crafters have a stash of “unfinished business.” I feel this has to be a common thing. And maybe I’m just looking for some camaraderie in my crafty procrastination, or something to make me feel better about the expensive pile of crap I’ve hoarded over the years, but I know I can’t be the only one with the secret craft stash built on intentions of doing amazing things but only collecting an amazing amount of dust.

craft room
A glance at one small section of my craft room.

I’ve got a pile of green ribbon and fabric ready for the Enchantress, some really nice blue, red and gold leather just waiting to become an awesome Wonder Woman warrior, a box of orange latex that was going to become LeeLoo suspenders, and don’t get me started on the patterns that have never even been opened!

I’m currently being forced to confront my craft supply hoarder tendencies while we organize and clean out the attic and garage. The huge cleaning spree has me facing the reality where our lofty crafting ambitions collide with real life and actual time to make things, and the result is a drawer of random things you refuse to throw out because you know as soon as you do, you are going to need it. Because I really need 1,376 googly eyes, right? (I use them to make one small part on Slave Leia costumes, which I haven’t made in over a year)

So please, tell me what you are hoarding and have yet to make. Even better, tell me how long you’ve been saving it. Because I’m pretty sure I’ve had those damn googly eyes for the last 10 years.

Hi, I’m Candy Keane and I’m a…

img_7376A couple weeks ago I was at a ComicCon type convention judging a cosplay contest and at the beginning they handed the microphone to the judges to introduce themselves. As soon as I put the mic to my mouth and said “Hi, I’m Candy Keane and…” I just froze. I looked out at all those people and had not one idea what to say about who I was or what I was doing there, besides “I’m a mom.” I was suddenly having a full-blown identity crisis in front of hundreds of people.

My mind started racing as the MC took over for me and started rattling off my years of involvement in the cosplay community and experience in costuming. My face started to burn. I used to have such a solid answer. I own a small business. I run my own boutique. I’ve achieved success in my field and am a well-known cosplayer and costume designer. I was there as a cosplay guest! I could have easily led with that but my mind just blanked. I wanted to say I blogged but couldn’t seem to get it out.

After that experience, I realized I need to embrace my new identity as mom and blogger and be able to shout it loud and proud. It’s not the mom part I wasn’t confident about. There’s no denying that part! It was being a blogger.

Blogging is the kind of thing where anyone can set up a free page and write a few lines and call themselves a blogger. So how do you distinguish when you are a “real” blogger? Is it when you are getting paid for writing? Because so far I’ve only been paid in free products. I don’t like ads on my page so I’ve turned down offers of advertising. I haven’t been published on any big blogs. I don’t write about anything newsworthy. Half the time I’m writing about pooping. (see previous post)

So what makes me a blogger? I guess the answer is Me. I’m the one who makes that distinction. And people are not going to believe it unless I truly believe in myself.

So let’s try this again: “Hi, I’m Candy Keane and write a blog called”

I think that’s a good start.