Maybe it’s an Only Child thing. Or maybe it’s a writer thing. It could be just an introvert thing. Whatever it is, I need my silence.
It’s one of the big things you give up as a mom. In a previous life, I could hear myself think. In my new life as a parent, I’ve learned to operate my brain to the constant strain of crying, whining, singing, noisy toys and mommy, mommy, mommy, mommyyyyyyyyy. And I married a man who loves noise and crowds so he doesn’t really get it. I need silence to recharge.
After coming home from a week-long business trip he offered to watch our son for the day so I could leave and go do what I wanted all day. I told him I’d rather they both leave me at the house alone, so I could just relax. I didn’t want to spend the day running around, visiting noisy places. I wanted to spend the day with Me. I also secretly enjoyed the idea of him taking our son around to the hardware store, out to eat alone, etc., and getting a little taste of what I deal with on a daily basis. I could barely contain my grin when he later recounted the major meltdown that occurred because the hardware store had a display of M&M’s as soon as you walk down the door. It still makes me giggle.
When I was younger, I sometimes contemplated that I’d be perfectly happy being a hermit in the woods, with maybe a few cats. I am glad that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to be able to fully enjoy life and all its noise. I will always have a need and appreciation for quite and solitude. Though I’m starting to wonder, if many years down the road when my son is grown and leaves the house, I may one day find myself thinking… the house is too quiet.
My wardrobe has taken a dramatic turn since my child became mobile. It’s the heart-stopping, turn your head and he’s gone kind of mobile. Once we entered this activity- enhanced phase and I found myself running down the street, chasing through store aisles, crawling around playgrounds, navigating the grocery store with a child/monkey climbing me…these are not activities for cute dresses and strappy shoes. Nope. I needed to invest in some Activewear.
I started with a cheap sports bra on Amazon that ended up being the most comfortable thing in the world. I ended up buying a 6 pack in different colors! Bye-bye Victoria’s Secret $50 bra! Hello $6 Amazon special. Everything pokes, scratches or just bugs me so I looooove these things. I’m serious. My last order of VS undies I have to wear inside out because the damn seams are so sharp. I warned my husband what was up so he wouldn’t think I was losing it.
Then I invested in some really comfy sneakers and started collecting running capris. Not as long as yoga pants (I’m in Florida!) but not as short as shorts. And then added cute tank tops to pair over the sports bras. This is now my daily wardrobe. While I do actually go to the gym a few times a week, I dress like this regardless of my gym attendance. It’s just so functional! And I think it looks a lot better than the big T-shirts and jean shorts combo I was rocking post-maternity wear.
So I get the yoga pants mom thing now. I may actually look into those when it gets chilly! I am guilty of doing everything in my activewear, because I am up and moving most of the day. I didn’t even go to the gym today or workout and still hit 19,000 steps on my Fitbit just running around trying to balance housework and “toddler things.” So cheers to all you mom’s out there in your fancy activewear. We all know you earned it.
My 2-year-old is going through some intense development right now, and the resulting tantrums are quite impressive. I am lucky they are short-lived because the decibel level of the screams could possibly cause some eardrum issues. If I have any future hearing loss, I’ll be telling my son he did this to me as a toddler. I’ve read a lot about it being the result of them not being able to communicate, and then the frustration manifests itself as a screaming demon. The articles didn’t actually say “screaming demon,” but I know what they were getting at. So I’m going to unveil the mystery behind what really causes tantrums:
- You gave them the cookie they asked for. It was the wrong cookie.
- You gave them the right cookie, but you put it in the wrong spot. Cookie is now on the floor.
- You picked the cookie up off the floor. No!! They were going to eat that.
- We’re done with cookies and now want cars. You can’t find the right car
- You found the right car, but put it on the table and he wanted it on the floor.
Do you see a pattern here? It’s obviously us. We’re doing it all wrong. Our mind reading skills are just not sharp enough. Some days we get it. And some days, you just have to hand them the whole darn bag of cookies and walk away.