That one time, I posted about shark penis

I’m pretty new to my neighborhood, and I’m happy to be getting to know my new neighbors, I just didn’t think I’d be known for shark penis. Or claspers, if you will. I now know way more about shark genitalia than I need to.

See, we all thought it was a baby ray. We are always finding interesting things at the beach and one night during our evening stroll I spotted what I thought was a dead stingray. So of course I handed my son a stick and told him he could poke at it. We flipped it over to check it out, flipped it back, took pictures of the whole thing and then posted it to Facebook. This is where the penis comes in.

shark claspers

A friend responds to my post, pointing out it is not a dead ray, but in fact, “shark genitalia.” I was like, whaaaaaaat?? And also wondering why he knew that. I immediately Googled for more info and he was correct. It was shark genitalia I had been taking pics of and the rest of the shark was nowhere to be found.

shark-clasper2

In all my years at the beach, I have never run across any part of a shark besides teeth. So I went and posted the photo in our neighborhood Facebook group and that’s when things really started to blow up.

Some people were outraged about an alleged shark castrator on the loose, and others complained about those people being too sensitive. There were Tons of comments. Some people found various parts of the shark at other nearby beach accesses. The head was found about a block away.

Apparently, the real story is there were some fishing boats off shore that weekend and sometimes they chop up the usable parts and then throw the rest back in. I don’t think they’re supposed to do that, and I’m not really sure what transpired here, but I’m sure it wasn’t some weird anti-shark antics. I’m happy to say I haven’t ever seen anything like this since then. But there was one guy in the comments who might not feel the same way-

His comment- “Do you still have it? I’m very interested.”

Um. NO. WTF? He actually thinks I took this home??

I have no idea what he wanted shark claspers for, but I don’t plan on asking! The only shark parts I’m taking home from the beach are teeth. Unfortunately I’m not so good at finding teeth. But apparently, stick a random shark penis on the beach and I’ll spot that thing no problem.

 

Side Hustle Saturday: Make Money off Your Receipts with Ibotta

Last Saturday I wrote about checking your receipts for surveys and coupons, and this is yet another thing you can do with those receipts- scan them for cash back.

The app I use most often for this is Ibotta. You can even dip your toe in the extreme couponing world by planning ahead and combining your rebates with coupons and sales to get free or nearly free items, but that takes a lot of time and is sometimes just more trouble than its worth (for me at least.) Ibotta is currently offering a $10 welcome bonus, so that helps your first check add up faster! You can cash out when your total reaches $20.

Once you sign up and download the app, you can filter offers by store and type. They change every week so you have to scan your receipt within the offer time limit. You can almost always find something on there, and there’s usually a few random “any brand” type products. For example, last week it was pretzels, protein powder and cake mix.

The one problem I have is remembering to scan barcodes. Sometimes you have to scan the barcode so if you wait to scan the receipt, you may have already thrown away your evidence!

There’s actually a lot more to the program and more ways to save, but I just wanted to do a quick easy overview. I’m not really using the app to its full potential, but have gotten nearly $100 back just by haphazardly remembering to do it. So it’s worth at least investing a few minutes each grocery trip, for a few dollars back every time. It eventually adds up!

ibotta

 

Artificial Bonsai, the tiny tree for busy lives

Back in college I had two pets- an orange tabby cat named Worm, and a bonsai tree. Sometimes I think that tree required more attention then the cat. Seriously, when I went away for a weekend I put out food and water for the cat but had a friend come over to water the bonsai with very specific I instructions.

It was a pretty little thing in a blue dish. I used to love pruning it with tiny scissors and enjoyed the little white flowers that would periodically bloom.

The cat lived a very long and happy life, but unfortunately my bonsai didn’t survive the college years. So when CommercialSilk contacted me about trying out a fake plant, first thing I did was check to see if they had a bonsai that looked like mine.

So here it is in all its glory:

bonsai-tree

A cute little bonsai tree that I never have to water or worry about. I never get to prune it either, but I’m ok with that now. I can barely keep everybody’s nails trimmed much less remember to trim a tiny tree these days.

I really liked the realistic details on the trunk and roots. I think it looks like a real plant up on my shelf. I had to get a three pack on SilkPlantsDirect.com to get the exact one I wanted, so if you don’t need three little trees, this would make the perfect gift for your plant-killing friend.

And I had just the spot for it on my kitchen shelf:

bonsai tree
Fake bonsai! The tiny tree for busy lives 😂

 

 

My Snotty Valentine

I was sick this year for Valentine’s Day. I’m still sick actually, and just hoping it’s not the killer flu because I’m one of those people who hate going to the doctor and will probably have “No really, I think it’s going away” on my tombstone.

Because I’m a snotty miserable mess, we cancelled our fancy dinner plans and stayed home. I at least managed to put on my pink stripe Puma pants to convey that I was putting some effort into the holiday. Oh, how times have changed, lol.

valentines day outfit

I was planning on wearing a nice dress to dinner at least. I’ll have to save it for the re-do this weekend. I got some new UGGs, a chocolate heart filled with popcorn and a cool Star Wars card. Plus my husband stayed home from work so I could rest because yesterday was the worst of the sickness so far (probably the best present ever.)

star wars valentine

And then this magical thing happened- a mystery packaged showed up at the door and inside was a bottle that said Sambrosa Nighttime Syrup and was stamped with “Sweet Dreams” and “Zzz zzz.” Earlier I had said all I wanted to do was order some sushi and then knock myself out with Nyquil. It was like the universe was listening and was like, “No, try this.” I kind of remember something about signing up to sample this months ago. But there was no information in the package, no invoice. I know I didn’t purchase it somewhere and the return address was directly from Sambrosa. I’ve checked through all my e-mails and cannot figure out where this came from!

sambrosa

Did that stop me from taking the mystery drug that showed up in my mail? No. No it did not. I’m sick and did not feel like asking too many questions. So after dinner I poured myself a big spoonful and downed a full serving of this really awful tasting stuff. Maybe I shouldn’t have brushed my teeth first. I’m not a big fan of syrups in the first place, but it was pretty fast-acting and within 20 minutes I was ready for bed. I did actually have a really good night’s sleep. A lot of time antihistamine type sleep products make me wake up in the middle of the night feeling weird, but I didn’t wake up until I heard the faint “Mommy…mommy where are you?…Mama!…” coming from across the hall. That’s my clue to jump into action.

I plan on giving it another try tonight, maybe before the tooth brushing. And if anyone else is part of this sampling program, or saw it somewhere, please let me know where the heck this came from! And yes, technically it is for allergies but I have all the runny nose, sneezing, watery eye yuckiness it says it combats so I’m just going with it.

Hope you all had a Happy Valentine’s day, however you got to spend it. I enjoyed mine, snot and all. It’s really what you make of it 🙂

 

Be My Valentine! Oh wait, I saw Pinterest, I can do better.

Valentine’s Day is coming up, and with a toddler in preschool, I get to revisit that fine tradition of exchanging little valentine cards. Watch as I transform from mocking mother to Pinterest panic and hand make all his cards the night before the party. I don’t know what happened. WHO AM I??

When I found out my son’s class was exchanging cards I marched myself right to the drugstore and got a box of Lightning McQueen cards with stickers. OK, first thing I really did was look for them on Amazon and saw that they were $13 and figured that can’t be right. So then I took myself to the store and found out they were really only $2.50. Talk about a convenience charge.

I thought these were pretty fancy since they came with stickers. Then I got online and saw other people posting their last minute homemade valentine cards. I laughed and smugly thought “Ha! Just drive your butt to the drugstore like I did.”

img_9463So I got home, dumped out the cards and after separating the cards, separating the stickers, sliding each sticker into its tiny sticker slot, writing the “To and From” and then folding each card over, then sealing them with a little heart sticker, I realized I could’ve made my own damn cards if I was putting that much work into it. And they’d be way better than these dinky little things I’m sending my kid to school with.

Dammit. Those Pinterest moms are onto something.

I figured I’m just lucky he’s too young to be embarrassed and probably won’t remember any of this. So I packed up his sad little cards and put them in his school bag. I made plans to be all on it next year with fancy cards, and made myself a Pinterest board: Fun Handmade Valentine Cards for Kids

And then it started bugging me. I started thinking, you can do better. You have the resources. Why not just whip up some cards? There’s only seven kids in the whole class anyway! So I ended up using the template on this blog for Race Car Valentine’s Day Cards because I happen to have a ton of spare cars (I got this box of 100 off Amazon) and cardstock. I didn’t have the fancy washi tape (I don’t even know WTF washi tape is) but I did have some Scotch tape and that worked just fine. I even added every kid’s name to the cards. I’m pretty darn happy with myself:

Handmade valentine cards with cars

Now my son is ready for his Valentine party with really cool cards and I feel like some kind of crafty Super Mom, lol.

P.S. – I also now know what washi tape is, and I feel like I need to get some. I have no idea what I’m going to do with it, but seems like I may run across it on Pinterest again.