What a brat! Wait… You mean they’re all like that?

screaming-toddler-saluteWhat a brat. Yep, I thought that many times while looking at your kid screaming for apparently no reason in public. Most likely while I stood there, comparing prices and calmly reading labels because nobody was screaming for me while trying to climb my body like a monkey. This was, of course, before I had a baby and found out there is absolutely no way to avoid an occasional public meltdown besides never ever leaving the house again.

So I ventured out. And there were tantrums, and there were the looks. I know those looks! But the moms know. And the dads too. You can see in their eyes they feel your pain. You can also see a hint of “I’m just glad it’s not me this time,” and that’s OK because we’ve all been there too.

So, tantrum toddler moms, I salute you! You are out there just trying to keep it together while your kid has a nuclear meltdown. Ignore the stares from the ignorant. They know nothing! But, if they are lucky, they will learn one day. And one day, when they have a rare quiet moment, they’ll think back to all those judgey looks and then write a blog where they apologize for everything. Or maybe that’s just me.

New Category Added: Biz Buzz

I added a new category today called Biz Buzz. It seems like 99% of mom blogs are angling toward some kind of business. You know what I have a ton of experience in? Starting and building small businesses using the Internet. Seventeen years to be exact, since I built my first personal website in 2000 using the ancient Geocities platform. I think it would be silly not to share what I’ve learned over the years.

So welcome to the new business category, aka Biz Buzz 🙂

 

Just a little patience, yeahhhh

It’s hard to pee with so many around.

You know I don’t like going poop in a crowd …

(GnR will never be the same now lol)

I think I get a gold star patience award for having a 20 min discussion about why it isn’t cool to poop your pants and then hang out in it. It’s not cool to be stinky. It’s not good for your butt. Do you want to have an ouchy bottom? And so on.

Why is this even a thing? While I’m doing it there’s a little voice in the back of my head going WTF kid why don’t you want this diaper changed ASAP? Why does a tiny human need to be cojoled out of his poopy drawers? I finally broke down and bribed him with M&Ms. A cooperative diaper change is a much happier experience for us all.

I’ve heard it’s more of a boy thing. My mom doesn’t have any stories like this about me. In fact, in her stories I pop out already talking, potty trained and refuse to even bother with diapers. Have I mentioned I’m over 40 and my mom’s had a lot of time to forget? I suspect there’s some holes in her story.

I also suspect there are a lot of future conversations with the toddler where I’m going to find myself going WTF am I talking about. I can only imagine what lies in store for me in the future…

“Why you can’t jump off the roof into the pool and other tragedies waiting to happen”

“The reason you have to wear clothes, and yes that includes pants”

“Ice cream is not suitable for dinner even though dad thinks it is”

What conversations have you had that go on the ridiculous list?

potty training
Sometimes, my patience pays off. He may be reading the book upside down, but at least he’s trying and “going potty like daddy” 🙂

Potty Train(spot)ing

When I look at the those potty training books that promise Potty Training in 3 Days, or read articles with similar hard core “get it done in a few days” methods, they always make me think of that part in the movie Trainspotting where the main guy decides to get clean.

“Stage one, preparation: For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music… Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of… One bucket for urine, one for feces… One television and one bottle of Valium…”

Seriously, most of them start out with the info that you will not be leaving the house or doing anything but living life around the toilet for the next few days.

We are taking the more relaxed approach, meaning he should be ready by the time he gets to high school. Yesterday I tried the “no pants” method. So I spent yesterday cleaning pee off the floor. We also had a moment where we just stared at each other with me going “Poop. Poop? Are you going to poop? Come on just poop. Put it in the hole. I’ll give you a whole handful of M&Ms if you just poop.” He farted, laughed, and asked for more M&Ms.

So that’s where we are at on this magical journey. I’m not ready to go hardcore and shack up with just me, the kid and the potty just yet. But I can see how that might become appealing at some point.

So how did you get through this? Or how’s it going? Got any good horror stories? All tips, tricks and personal anecdotes that make me feel better about cleaning up pee are welcome 🙂

potty training

 

The Real Reason Toddlers Have Tantrums

My 2-year-old is going through some intense development right now, and the resulting tantrums are quite impressive. I am lucky they are short-lived because the decibel level of the screams could possibly cause some eardrum issues. If I have any future hearing loss, I’ll be telling my son he did this to me as a toddler. I’ve read a lot about it being the result of them not being able to communicate, and then the frustration manifests itself as a screaming demon. The articles didn’t actually say “screaming demon,” but I know what they were getting at. So I’m going to unveil the mystery behind what really causes tantrums:

  1. You gave them the cookie they asked for. It was the wrong cookie.
  2. You gave them the right cookie, but you put it in the wrong spot. Cookie is now on the floor.
  3. You picked the cookie up off the floor. No!! They were going to eat that.
  4. We’re done with cookies and now want cars. You can’t find the right car
  5. You found the right car, but put it on the table and he wanted it on the floor.

Do you see a pattern here? It’s obviously us. We’re doing it all wrong. Our mind reading skills are just not sharp enough. Some days we get it. And some days, you just have to hand them the whole darn bag of cookies and walk away.

toddler tantrum