The Overzealous Sales Friend

fb-sellingIf all you do is post about your home business, I’ve probably already stopped following you. If you are a well-rounded status poster that sneaks it in there when relevant, then you and I can still be friends.

So unless I am actually interested in said business, right now I do not need any leggings, fitness shakes, essential oils, purses, sports drinks, cookware or expensive skincare. Nor am I interested in joining your team and spending all my time bugging my friends to buy my stuff.

Yes I understand plenty of you enjoy it and make good money doing it. I’m glad you guys have a passion for what you do. It’s just lately it seems like every time I meet a new mom, she wants to sell me something. I’m happy to hear your sales pitch once, get it out of the way, then let’s just be friends.

If you guys threw more parties and plowed me with alcohol, I’d be more into it. I did go to one R&F get-together because I was promised mimosas and I’d get to wash my face. (my needs are simple) My face felt great, but not “sign up for the monthly delivery program and spend just under $200,” great. I’d need WAY more mimosas to agree to that.

To be honest, I really would like to try that LipSense stuff, but one girl I know selling it sent me a sample of a bland color and no gloss so I didn’t get how I was supposed to test it out if I couldn’t even follow the directions she sent with it that expressly said to use it only with their special gloss. All it did was feel weird, then dry and weird. I think someone should throw a LipSense party where we all try a bright color and then eat and drink different things to test out the staying power. That’s the sort of thing I’d be into.

So this concludes my random rant about everyone pushing their agenda. You guys keep on pushing! Just, you know, not at me, lol.

 

 

What a brat! Wait… You mean they’re all like that?

screaming-toddler-saluteWhat a brat. Yep, I thought that many times while looking at your kid screaming for apparently no reason in public. Most likely while I stood there, comparing prices and calmly reading labels because nobody was screaming for me while trying to climb my body like a monkey. This was, of course, before I had a baby and found out there is absolutely no way to avoid an occasional public meltdown besides never ever leaving the house again.

So I ventured out. And there were tantrums, and there were the looks. I know those looks! But the moms know. And the dads too. You can see in their eyes they feel your pain. You can also see a hint of “I’m just glad it’s not me this time,” and that’s OK because we’ve all been there too.

So, tantrum toddler moms, I salute you! You are out there just trying to keep it together while your kid has a nuclear meltdown. Ignore the stares from the ignorant. They know nothing! But, if they are lucky, they will learn one day. And one day, when they have a rare quiet moment, they’ll think back to all those judgey looks and then write a blog where they apologize for everything. Or maybe that’s just me.

New Category Added: Biz Buzz

I added a new category today called Biz Buzz. It seems like 99% of mom blogs are angling toward some kind of business. You know what I have a ton of experience in? Starting and building small businesses using the Internet. Seventeen years to be exact, since I built my first personal website in 2000 using the ancient Geocities platform. I think it would be silly not to share what I’ve learned over the years.

So welcome to the new business category, aka Biz Buzz 🙂

 

Just a little patience, yeahhhh

It’s hard to pee with so many around.

You know I don’t like going poop in a crowd …

(GnR will never be the same now lol)

I think I get a gold star patience award for having a 20 min discussion about why it isn’t cool to poop your pants and then hang out in it. It’s not cool to be stinky. It’s not good for your butt. Do you want to have an ouchy bottom? And so on.

Why is this even a thing? While I’m doing it there’s a little voice in the back of my head going WTF kid why don’t you want this diaper changed ASAP? Why does a tiny human need to be cojoled out of his poopy drawers? I finally broke down and bribed him with M&Ms. A cooperative diaper change is a much happier experience for us all.

I’ve heard it’s more of a boy thing. My mom doesn’t have any stories like this about me. In fact, in her stories I pop out already talking, potty trained and refuse to even bother with diapers. Have I mentioned I’m over 40 and my mom’s had a lot of time to forget? I suspect there’s some holes in her story.

I also suspect there are a lot of future conversations with the toddler where I’m going to find myself going WTF am I talking about. I can only imagine what lies in store for me in the future…

“Why you can’t jump off the roof into the pool and other tragedies waiting to happen”

“The reason you have to wear clothes, and yes that includes pants”

“Ice cream is not suitable for dinner even though dad thinks it is”

What conversations have you had that go on the ridiculous list?

potty training
Sometimes, my patience pays off. He may be reading the book upside down, but at least he’s trying and “going potty like daddy” 🙂

Potty Train(spot)ing

When I look at the those potty training books that promise Potty Training in 3 Days, or read articles with similar hard core “get it done in a few days” methods, they always make me think of that part in the movie Trainspotting where the main guy decides to get clean.

“Stage one, preparation: For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music… Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of… One bucket for urine, one for feces… One television and one bottle of Valium…”

Seriously, most of them start out with the info that you will not be leaving the house or doing anything but living life around the toilet for the next few days.

We are taking the more relaxed approach, meaning he should be ready by the time he gets to high school. Yesterday I tried the “no pants” method. So I spent yesterday cleaning pee off the floor. We also had a moment where we just stared at each other with me going “Poop. Poop? Are you going to poop? Come on just poop. Put it in the hole. I’ll give you a whole handful of M&Ms if you just poop.” He farted, laughed, and asked for more M&Ms.

So that’s where we are at on this magical journey. I’m not ready to go hardcore and shack up with just me, the kid and the potty just yet. But I can see how that might become appealing at some point.

So how did you get through this? Or how’s it going? Got any good horror stories? All tips, tricks and personal anecdotes that make me feel better about cleaning up pee are welcome 🙂

potty training