I’m one of those people who usually won’t go see a doctor unless I think I’m dying. Even then, I’m usually like, let’s wait and see. And the last time I mustered up the courage to go see a doctor about my anxiety, it ended in disaster and tears, which scared me away for another couple years. That finally escalated into an ER visit for a panic attack because I did, for real, think I was dying from heart attack or stroke. So here we are, in 2022, and the closest I’d gotten to seeing a doctor was getting a COVID vaccine at Publix, until today. Today, I went and established myself as a new patient with a Primary Care Physician, and I feel totally grown-up and responsible now.
Happy Healthy New Year
When my best friend passed away last year from heart complications, it had me freaked out that someone so young could just suddenly die. She was a year younger than me! It got me seriously thinking about my own health, and the fact that I’d pretty much been ignoring it while taking care of everyone else. (typical mom thing)
It had been weighing on my mind, so I figured it would be good to start the year off healthy and get everything checked. I went in there with a list! I had been taking notes about all the things going on with me- anxiety, migraines, trouble sleeping, possible arthritis in my hands, etc… I turned 46 last year and feel like things are starting to fall apart a bit to be honest. The health stuff was starting to pile up, so when I got a letter in the mail announcing a new doctor’s office right near me, I took that as I sign I should do something, so I called and made an appointment. The doctor in the letter seemed like she would be nice, and wouldn’t send me away in tears of frustration like my last experience.
I’m happy to report, she was nice, and the appointment went smoothly. Nothing was really accomplished besides putting in an order for bloodwork so she can check everything. So next week I go get blood drawn to check my thyroid, blood glucose, estrogen levels and several other things. Then I go back in two weeks to go over everything and find out what’s going on with me.
I’m really hoping that doesn’t lead to a bunch of other appointments and getting other things checked, which is one of the things keeping me from the doctor in the first place. Seems there’s nothing wrong with you until you see a doctor and they tell you there is! (which I know is silly to think) But, I know things don’t just magickly get better on their own, and they usually just get worse.
But I feel good I’ve finally taken that first step an established myself with a doctor. I’ll still of course avoid going unless I absolutely have to, but maybe not wait until I think I’m dying for once. Maybe I’ll actually embrace preventative care and stop freaking out about doctors. It’s about time I put on my big girl pants and put “taking care of myself” at the top of my to-do list.