I think I get a gold star patience award for having a 20 min discussion about why it isn’t cool to poop your pants and then hang out in it. It’s not cool to be stinky. It’s not good for your butt. Do you want to have an ouchy bottom? And so on.
Why is this even a thing? While I’m doing it there’s a little voice in the back of my head going WTF kid why don’t you want this diaper changed ASAP? Why does a tiny human need to be cojoled out of his poopy drawers? I finally broke down and bribed him with M&Ms. A cooperative diaper change is a much happier experience for us all.
I’ve heard it’s more of a boy thing. My mom doesn’t have any stories like this about me. In fact, in her stories I pop out already talking, potty trained and refuse to even bother with diapers. Have I mentioned I’m over 40 and my mom’s had a lot of time to forget? I suspect there’s some holes in her story.
I also suspect there are a lot of future conversations with the toddler where I’m going to find myself going WTF am I talking about. I can only imagine what lies in store for me in the future…
“Why you can’t jump off the roof into the pool and other tragedies waiting to happen”
“The reason you have to wear clothes, and yes that includes pants”
“Ice cream is not suitable for dinner even though dad thinks it is”
What conversations have you had that go on the ridiculous list?
It seems a lot of my life is separated into BB and AB. (Before Baby and After Baby) As much as I was adamant about how having baby would not change who I am, once again, I was Wrong. So wrong. (this is a reoccurring theme, lol)
I am sure plenty of people have kids and go right back to who they were, but there’s no way I can stay out late and do events several nights a week and then get up and take good care of my son. Having a pounding hangover does not make for a happy and engaged mom.
And I worked all the time. I loved my work, and events were part of that. But owning a business and a retail store takes ALL your time and brain power just thinking about all you have to do. A business requires care and tending as well. So I closed my store, dissolved the Three Muses Clothing, LLC and took a step back.
In the mean time, I started this blog and called it Geek Mamas because I had big plans to involve lots of other moms. Then I realized I barely had time to run it myself, much less work with other people so I just began to blog about stuff I had going on and that seemed to work better. I’d still like to have guest bloggers though. We’ll work on that…
I still like to make things so I kept my Etsy shop open and my facebook page and just changed the names to Candy K Cosplay as a sort of placeholder while I figured things out.
I now identify as Mom, geek, cosplayer and all-around crafty person. I also love the beach but Sew Beachy Geek Mama seemed too long…
So here is the official new business/blog name and new logo:
I’m working on changing all my social media links and names and everything. There’s so much! I’m still finding Three Muses stuff everywhere too. I don’t plan on doing a big retail thing again. This is just going to be small stuff I can fit in without it interrupting my family life. Little stuff on the side, and my blog and Youtube tutorials when I can. I don’t want a business to take over my life again, because the life After Baby is really great just the way it is!
Mom tired is a different kind of tired. We exist in a state of high functioning exhaustion. I am just now getting used to being able to have a good night’s sleep again and wake up at a decent time. Sleep is a wonderful thing and I have never appreciated it so much in my life.
But sometimes you don’t get good sleep and you still have to chase a toddler all over the place while putting on your happy face and be Excited about Everything! And that’s when we need some help.
Marketing people are catching on and targeting tired moms. I recently got these free samples of the new V8 Energy drink through BzzAgent.com. I really liked them! They are light and refreshing and it’s not a jolt of energy but it does seem to have a little kick to it. So I went and did my promo duty by posting a photo on my Instagram. Then I figured I’d click the hashtags and see what other people were posting. It was all mom’s posting about refueling to keep up with the kids!
So they are on to us…and at least looking to help. I can’t stop thinking of mixing it with vodka though, lol.
So what do you guys do or what have you tried to get through that afternoon (sometimes all day) slump?
There’s a time warp of sorts that comes with parenthood that I like to refer to as The Toddler Time Paradox. I would almost describe it as a black hole of time, sucking in all efforts and intentions to “get things done,” often causing tasks to go unfinished or simple tasks to take hours. While on toddler time, a simple trip to take out the trash which would normally take five minutes tops is going to take at least an hour, possibly the whole day
Without Toddler: walk outside, put trash in can, walk back inside
Time Lapsed: 2 minutes
Take 30 minutes convincing toddler to put shoes on. Finally give up just to get out the door.
Let him find just the right cars to take with him on this monumentous trip.
Grab his bike on the way because now he wants to ride his bike.
Go outside with a toddler, bike and trash.
Leave trash by front door while simple bike ride turns into full neighborhood stroll. In the rain.
Discover puddles. Prefer puddles over bike. Prefer bike in puddles. Make mom yell about getting wet and dirty in puddle. Mommy is funny.
Make it back to front door now wet and dirty. Finally grab the trash. Repeat process trying to get trash around the side of the house.
Let’s start this by being honest and saying I suck at this “mom friend” thing. It’s just like trying to make regular friends (not so great at that either) but harder because you probably have nothing else in common except your mom status.
* I do thankfully have friends who just happen to also be moms, but I’m talking about meeting new friends.
I started by joining mom groups on Facebook. I concentrated on one active one thinking, hey I’m making connections! But then I got kicked out, right on the day I was having a total mom breakdown because I hadn’t had much sleep in two days and K wouldn’t stop crying. Previously that week I had tried to do a meet-up at the zoo with them and totally failed finding the meeting spot and tried to be like, hey no big deal, we’ll just play here at the water park area. Apparently that was seen as “blowing them off.” See? I had no idea how horribly offensive I am.
I also joined a local place where kids can go and play, and in all the reviews it talks about how people just LOVE going there and have met SO MANY great mom friends! But unfortunately I have not met one other person in the 3 months we’ve been going there. Oh, I say hi and smile. Ask the obligatory “How old is he/she” while hoping I got the gender right because sometimes I can’t tell and that seems to be a conversation killer right there. Then we both go off running in separate directions to chase after our kids. And therein lies the problem. Even when I actually do meet up with another mom, we get maybe a few whole sentences in the span of a couple hours. I’m starting to suspect people who make mom friends have kids that stay still and aren’t trying to hurl themselves from the top of the jungle gym or throw toy cars over the fence.
Also, moms are busy. They are terribly hard to set up a date with and easily cancel due to a million different things. The more kids involved, the harder it is to meet up. And no matter where you met up, it’s like hanging out with someone with a severe case of ADD.
So maybe I am a little sad I never had that magical moment where your eyes meet across the playground and you become lifelong pals as your kids grow up together. (That’s how it happens, right?) But at least I’ve got my little buddy to keep me company so I’ll never be alone on the playground.