The Toddler Time Paradox

There’s a time warp of sorts that comes with parenthood that I like to refer to as The Toddler Time Paradox. I would almost describe it as a black hole of time, sucking in all efforts and intentions to “get things done,” often causing tasks to go unfinished or simple tasks to take hours. While on toddler time, a simple trip to take out the trash which would normally take five minutes tops is going to take at least an hour, possibly the whole day

Without Toddler: walk outside, put trash in can, walk back inside

Time Lapsed: 2 minutes

Wiimg_4266th Toddler: 
Take 30 minutes convincing toddler to put shoes on. Finally give up just to get out the door.

Let him find just the right cars to take with him on this monumentous trip.

Grab his bike on the way because now he wants to ride his bike.

Go outside with a toddler, bike and trash.

Leave trash by front door while simple bike ride turns into full neighborhood stroll. In the rain.

Discover puddles. Prefer puddles over bike. Prefer bike in puddles. Make mom yell about getting wet and dirty in puddle. Mommy is funny.

Make it back to front door now wet and dirty. Finally grab the trash. Repeat process trying to get trash around the side of the house.

Now repeat process going back in.

Time Lapsed: 1 hour 20 min

 

Diary of SAHM – Day 120

Ok, to be honest, I don’t exactly know what day it is. I started in November so I just averaged the months together. If you are doing this too, you understand I’m short on time!

Time is this amazing valuable commodity I can’t seem to get enough of. In fact, that’s the only present I requested for the next year. I told my husband “I only want guilt-free gifts of time for myself.” Guilt-free means they are given without making a fuss about how it is taking away from his precious time to get all his very important things done. And also a good chunk of time because a couple hours is NOT enough and it just sucks to have a little time for yourself but rush everything because you feel like you have to get back home asap.

This is my first blog since the holidays. I missed all those golden blogging opportunities the holidays present, the optimistic or often nostalgic “where did this year go” New Year’s blog…and now we are heading straight into Valentine’s Day and all I asked for was a day to go get my hair done at a salon. Something I used to take for granted. I could spend alllll day getting my hair colored and cut if a wanted. But now I have to plan way in advance, coordinate schedules, etc. I really want to get low lights and be a little less of a blinding blond color. But that takes time. About 4 hours last time I tried it. Where on Earth does a SAHM get time for that? Well they probably don’t and they manage to whip some box color up during a nap time to get by. That’s probably where I’m headed. And if all else fails, at least I look good in hats.

You know what the weird thing is? I’m still super happy I made this decision and I still love it. Every day. Even the tough days, of which there are many. But I had tough days when I ran my boutique. No matter what you choose in life, there will be tough days. As my Green Beret husband would say, “Embrace the suck.” So I do have some seriously sucky days, but somehow they still make me happy when I go to bed at night.

pooh

But seriously, he needs to embrace the suck a bit more and let me have a spa day or something because this momma could use a pedicure, a massage and new ‘do!