There’s a time warp of sorts that comes with parenthood that I like to refer to as The Toddler Time Paradox. I would almost describe it as a black hole of time, sucking in all efforts and intentions to “get things done,” often causing tasks to go unfinished or simple tasks to take hours. While on toddler time, a simple trip to take out the trash which would normally take five minutes tops is going to take at least an hour, possibly the whole day
Without Toddler: walk outside, put trash in can, walk back inside
Time Lapsed: 2 minutes
Wi
th Toddler:
Take 30 minutes convincing toddler to put shoes on. Finally give up just to get out the door.
Let him find just the right cars to take with him on this monumentous trip.
Grab his bike on the way because now he wants to ride his bike.
Go outside with a toddler, bike and trash.
Leave trash by front door while simple bike ride turns into full neighborhood stroll. In the rain.
Discover puddles. Prefer puddles over bike. Prefer bike in puddles. Make mom yell about getting wet and dirty in puddle. Mommy is funny.
Make it back to front door now wet and dirty. Finally grab the trash. Repeat process trying to get trash around the side of the house.
Now repeat process going back in.
Time Lapsed: 1 hour 20 min
Categories: Mom Life
Geek Mamas 
This is so true! I recently commented to my husband, “Remember when we would get ready to go run errands and all we had to do was literally walk out the door?” Now it’s a 15-20 minute process: convince toddler to wear shoes, find the only shoes she will wear, pack snack (for bribery) and sippy, get my phone she hid while I was preparing snack…
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Yes it is crazy how much longer simple things take now! And they all require snacks, lol
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We suffer from this time lapse too, have to plan ahead to get anywhere on time! Two year olds definitely have their own agenda Jen XOXO http://www.zenbabybliss.co.uk
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So, so true. If I take the dogs for a walk by myself, it’s 20-30 minutes. With the toddler it’s 90-120 mins and we stop to smell every flower, inspect every leaf, balance on every brick ledge, marvel at every fruit tree, and pet every kitty.
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I like those walks 🙂 We do that on the way to the beach. It’s a 5 min. walk that takes 30+ in toddler time but it is way more interesting, lol.
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And forget about leaving the house! Wish the time paradox worked in such a way that time actually stopped for the toddler shenanigans so I wasn’t late always and forever.
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This made me laugh. What’s with finding the perfect car? My son can’t go anywhere – not even the bathroom to brush his teeth without the right car.
As for puddles- one of the cutest things he ever said to me was ‘mummy, you forgot to go through the puddle’ when I purposely avoided the puddles he’d been sloshing in with his bike. What could I do but smile and join in? 😊
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Yes, just the right car! l have to learn all his special toddler code words for them so I can help find the right one 🙂
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Fortunately the code isn’t too difficult here- either characters from Disny’s ‘Cars’ or colour and make of car…
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Pretty much the same here! Plus “new car” and little or big cars. He kept yelling something at his dad yesterday and he was like “yeah… car… ok” and Keelan was getting upset so finally I had to be like “mater” he wants you to find the tow truck from Cars 😂
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😂
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