Beta blockers were the first step in helping me overcome a fear of public speaking, but it wasn’t a magic one pill fix.

I had a fear of speaking even when it wasn’t in front of a room. And forget about amplifying my voice with a microphone!

So how did I finally get over a fear of public speaking and no longer tremble and shake when in front of a crowd? It was a combination of things involving a prescription for beta blockers, practice and a new perception.

The picture above is of me at a comic con type event, doing the announcements for the costume contest. It may not seem like a big deal, unless you were at my wedding 20+ years ago, when I nearly crawled under the dinner table to escape from the microphone my husband was trying to hand me so I could announce my bridesmaids.

As much as I wanted to, I just couldn’t get up the courage to speak. So, my new husband took over and made up stories about each bridesmaid and how long we’ve known each other. It seems silly now, but I just couldn’t do it, even after downing several drinks in an attempt to build up some liquid courage. Unfortunately, all I got was a 2-day hangover.

Fighting Anxiety with Beta Blockers

Getting up in front of a crowd always produced the same response- my heart would start racing and my body would start shaking. I’d start getting all sweaty and my anxiety would skyrocket. These reactions would make it hard for me to concentrate and my speech would come out shaky. I had a tendency to run off stage whenever I tried to do costume contests. I once walked off right stage in the middle of the MC reading my costume description at a big contest at DragonCon.

My doctor suggested trying Inderal, which is the brand name for Propranolol. Propranolol is beta-blocker, and it works by blocking the action of certain natural chemicals in your body, such as epinephrine, on the heart and blood vessels. This effect helps to lower heart rate, blood pressure, and strain on the heart.

I felt I had the right mindset, and I was ready to kick this annoying handicap, so I tried taking the beta blocker before social situations that might normally make me nervous. I found that without my body overreacting, my brain had a better chance of convincing myself everything was ok.

Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking, By Public Speaking

You can’t get over something without practicing it, so started volunteering for situations where I’d be in front of a crowd. I started judging costume contests and doing panels at conventions.

Each time I’d make sure I was prepared, and then take my Propranolol about 30 minutes before show time. It doesn’t affect the way you think – I was still nervous, but it’s much easier to speak when your heart isn’t thumping in your ears and your hands aren’t shaking.

And little by little, I got used to it. And it seemed that once my body got used to not overreacting, I started being able to do it without taking the beta-blockers.

A Shift in Perception

I’m still no pro at public speaking, but I don’t hide from microphones anymore. And being in front of a crowd isn’t my favorite thing, but I can handle it now without looking petrified.

And a big part of that, besides the beta blockers and the practicing, has been a shift in perception since becoming a mom and being in my late 40s. I just don’t really care that much about people criticizing me. I am comfortable with myself and the sound of my own voice.

I used to worry about what everyone was thinking or how my voice sounded, and it really doesn’t matter. You can’t please everyone, and everyone is going to have an opinion. And usually, your opinion of yourself is going to be the most critical of all (at least, if you have anxiety like me.)

So, I have learned to take it easy on myself. I am not trying to win any public speaking trophies, but I am fairly confident I can handle myself in front of a crowd when required. And for someone who wouldn’t speak at her own wedding in front of supportive friends and family, that’s a big thing.