Living by a new set of rules

1uwe9mNothing makes sense anymore. In my old, pre-baby life, if someone asked me for waffles, I’d make them waffles and we’d be good. Now if the child asks for waffles, I end up with screams of despair and cold waffles and I’m still not really sure where I went wrong. I’ve given up trying to figure it out. The only thing I know is, there is a new set of rules, and I’m not the one making them.

Top 10 Toddler Rules for Parents (especially those of crazy little boys)

1) Never let your guard down. The moment you do you get beaned in the head with something. Probably something hard.

2) Don’t look away. Because when you turn back around they are probably already hanging off a window ledge.

3) Don’t invest in whatever they eat at someone else’s house. Because when you get home they’ll hate it. And then you have five boxes of fruit bars they keep trying to feed to the dog.

4) Don’t invest in what they like today at your own house either because tomorrow they will most likely hate it, and by now the dog is getting pretty fat.

5) Diaper-free time means I’m cleaning pee up off the floor time.

6) There’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything. The right way is that one way you did it the first time three weeks ago. The wrong way is however you are trying to do it now, so you get an extended tantrum for your failure to remember to do it the right way.

7) There is a specific tiny car for every activity or outing. Also, you will need about 5,679 hot wheels cars to get through toddlerhood.

8) If there is a puddle, they will find it. If there is dirt, they will find it. If there is both, you might as well just camp out for a while.

9) They can be the worst little hellion ever and wipe it away with a hug, a kiss and a sweet little baby voiced “I love you.” And they know it.

10) They are going to steal your heart and one day you’ll miss the puddles and tiny cars and insistence on being carried everywhere. Toddlerhood doesn’t last forever. Just cover your ears keep repeating that during the next screamfest that erupts because you won’t let them lick the light socket.

Drinking Wine and Blogging in My Activewear

cheersMy wardrobe has taken a dramatic turn since my child became mobile. It’s the heart-stopping, turn your head and he’s gone kind of mobile. Once we entered this activity- enhanced phase and I found myself running down the street, chasing through store aisles, crawling around playgrounds, navigating the grocery store with a child/monkey climbing me…these are not activities for cute dresses and strappy shoes. Nope. I needed to invest in some Activewear.

I started with a cheap sports bra on Amazon that ended up being the most comfortable thing in the world. I ended up buying a 6 pack in different colors! Bye-bye Victoria’s Secret $50 bra! Hello $6 Amazon special. Everything pokes, scratches or just bugs me so I looooove these things. I’m serious. My last order of VS undies I have to wear inside out because the damn seams are so sharp. I warned my husband what was up so he wouldn’t think I was losing it.

Then I invested in some really comfy sneakers and started collecting running capris. Not as long as yoga pants (I’m in Florida!) but not as short as shorts. And then added cute tank tops to pair over the sports bras. This is now my daily wardrobe. While I do actually go to the gym a few times a week, I dress like this regardless of my gym attendance. It’s just so functional! And I think it looks a lot better than the big T-shirts and jean shorts combo I was rocking post-maternity wear.

So I get the yoga pants mom thing now. I may actually look into those when it gets chilly! I am guilty of doing everything in my activewear, because I am up and moving most of the day. I didn’t even go to the gym today or workout and still hit 19,000 steps on my Fitbit just running around trying to balance housework and “toddler things.” So cheers to all you mom’s out there in your fancy activewear. We all know you earned it.

The Mommy Blog Identity

Top Mommy BlogsIt used to bug the crap out of me when I’d see “mom” in someone’s bio. True story. I was like, I see you’re a mom, I feel that’s one of those things you don’t really have to tell me. The entire “Mommy Blog” trend annoyed me. I thought separating them into their own category was just silly. This was of course because I had no idea what I was talking about.

So now, here I am, with “mom” usually first in my short bio. It took me so long to become a mom, that people are just lucky I don’t walk around wearing a badge that loudly proclaims my mom status. Oh wait. I’m usually dragging a toddler while wearing clothing with various food smears and have Cheerios in my hair. I think that speaks for itself.

Today I got the message that my blog was finally accepted into the Top Mommy Blogs website. For some reason, it made me feel a little more official. Maybe because I got a cute cartoon badge. (Go ahead! Click it! It’s a vote for my blog) But also because I decided to embrace the fact that yes, I am a Mommy Blogger. That’s what I enjoy writing about the best – being a mom and raising my son and all the crazy things that come with it. ❤

 

 

Diary of SAHM – Day 120

Ok, to be honest, I don’t exactly know what day it is. I started in November so I just averaged the months together. If you are doing this too, you understand I’m short on time!

Time is this amazing valuable commodity I can’t seem to get enough of. In fact, that’s the only present I requested for the next year. I told my husband “I only want guilt-free gifts of time for myself.” Guilt-free means they are given without making a fuss about how it is taking away from his precious time to get all his very important things done. And also a good chunk of time because a couple hours is NOT enough and it just sucks to have a little time for yourself but rush everything because you feel like you have to get back home asap.

This is my first blog since the holidays. I missed all those golden blogging opportunities the holidays present, the optimistic or often nostalgic “where did this year go” New Year’s blog…and now we are heading straight into Valentine’s Day and all I asked for was a day to go get my hair done at a salon. Something I used to take for granted. I could spend alllll day getting my hair colored and cut if a wanted. But now I have to plan way in advance, coordinate schedules, etc. I really want to get low lights and be a little less of a blinding blond color. But that takes time. About 4 hours last time I tried it. Where on Earth does a SAHM get time for that? Well they probably don’t and they manage to whip some box color up during a nap time to get by. That’s probably where I’m headed. And if all else fails, at least I look good in hats.

You know what the weird thing is? I’m still super happy I made this decision and I still love it. Every day. Even the tough days, of which there are many. But I had tough days when I ran my boutique. No matter what you choose in life, there will be tough days. As my Green Beret husband would say, “Embrace the suck.” So I do have some seriously sucky days, but somehow they still make me happy when I go to bed at night.

pooh

But seriously, he needs to embrace the suck a bit more and let me have a spa day or something because this momma could use a pedicure, a massage and new ‘do!