I use an app on Instagram to keep track of who has followed and unfollowed me on my @SewGeekMama Instagram account. Why? Because that’s the account I do the most sponsored posting on, and I like to keep track of who’s supporting me and who isn’t. And usually, you’d think actual friends of yours would be in the “supporting” group, except that’s not the case. Hey guys, you know there’s a MUTE button right?

The Great Unfollowing

Last year I got back into my cosplay groove and started posting more costume pics, less daily life stuff. Most mom blogs quickly started to unfollow, which was expected. So I created an account just for the blog and mom life at @GeekMamasBlog. I don’t know most of those people and I didn’t really expect them to stick around. Some did, however, I have special appreciation for those people and always try to keep up with and comment on their accounts.

As far as my costume posts go, they aren’t overtly sexy and mostly concentrate and hair and make-up. I love a good transformation from daily frazzled mom to superhero (or villain.) I don’t post pics in my underwear, and I don’t have an Only Fans page I’m trying to drive traffic to. I try and keep everything pretty much family friendly and the most risqué thing I post is my cleavage. I am a woman with breasts, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If you are a woman offended by me showing maybe 1/4 of my breasts, you may have some deeper issues you need to explore.

But, as I mentioned, I was not offended by the unfollowing of mom bloggers who only followed for the follow-back, the fitness moms who finally realized I was never going to join their accountability group, and the MLM moms who realized I had no interest in their R&F/Young Living/Beauty Counter cults. I wasn’t interested in their stuff either, so as they unfollowed, I just unfollowed right back.

I Like You Just a Little Bit Less

But as I was transitioning the account and gaining followers and actually starting to make money with my Instagram account with sponsored posts, I noticed a few actual friends unfollowing. People I know and interact with. People whose accounts I follow and often comment on. And yes, I think it’s just a bit shitty and I do actually like them just a bit less now. I at least have the decency to mute people who I know and follow, but don’t necessarily want to see every post. I’m sure they figured they could just quietly unfollow and continue to smile and say hi every day, and me not know a thing, but I know what they did. I know, but I don’t say anything, because it probably doesn’t mean anything to them at all. So I just unfollow them and cut them out of my social media loop.

The Followers App

I use an app called “Followers” and about once a week I open it and it tells me all the people who have followed and those that have unfollowed. It helps me make sure I haven’t missed anyone I should be following back, and also lets me know who I shouldn’t bother supporting anymore with comments and likes. My time is valuable. If you don’t help me out on this silly social media thing, I’m not bothering to interact with you either.

The pic above is what it looks like in the app store. I’ve been using it for a while and just use the free version for now. It’s been quite helpful and eye-opening. It certainly helps me slim down my following list. The paid version will tell you a lot more details about those who follow, who is interacting the most and least, who is blocking, etc. I pretty much just stick to checking out who is following, unfollowing or not following back. **A few people have mentioned they can’t find the app, so I went looking and I can’t find it either! Most of the follow/unfollow apps work the same though, so I recommend just trying a free one.

So just think about this next time you unfollow a friend. They may be paying attention, especially if they are actually trying to use their social media for work purposes. And you may just end up on their shit list.

*P.S. – If you have unfollowed me on any other platform, I am not paying attention, nor do I care at all. Instagram is the only one I’ve worked hard at maintaining followers and engagement, which is why the support of friends matters.

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About the Author

Candy Keane is a digital content creator and long-time cosplayer, most well-known for being on the cover of the Star Wars documentary Jedi Junkies. After making costumes professionally for over a decade, she now writes about about geek culture and mom life, and continues to cosplay for fun, while sharing her love of costumes on Instagram @SewGeekMama. Her first children’s book, I’m Going to My First Comic Convention, was published in 2020 and won a Story Monsters Approved award for Excellence in Literature.

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