I’m currently annoyed about being annoyed. I want so badly just to not be annoyed by everything. I’m wondering how do I get past it? I do I get over being annoyed?

I hate the way being annoyed makes me feel and makes me act. I act like a grouch. My face frowns and it’s probably giving me new wrinkles. And the thought of that annoys me even more.

And what am I so annoyed about you wonder? Silly things. Little things. Things that I should be able to get over if I can just shift my perspective.

The constant sound of my child whining at me. “Mom. Mommy. Mommmmmmmm.”

I need this, I need that. I’m bored. It just wears on me until I want to snap. And sometimes I do and I feel like I turn into some raging momster and then I feel bad. But still annoyed.

I try and stop to remind myself how hard we tried for so many years to have a child. Everything I went through with IVF to make this happen, and how grateful I should be that I was finally able to have a child.

And then I feel really grateful and annoyed at the same time.

And now I’m annoyed that I have to stop typing this to go see why he’s yelling for mom again.

And now I’m back and re-reading what I wrote and I’m somehow less annoyed, and I then I remembered…oh yeah. THIS is how I do it. This is how I calm myself and work it out. Writing is my therapy.

So while I try to make most of my blog posts useful, the heart of this blog is still me, just sitting here trying to be less annoyed by everything. And sometimes I just have to write it out of me.