The other day my toddler son was really pushing it, not listening, throwing things at my head and generally driving me crazy. So, what do I do? Yell “Keelan stop it right now! Mommy’s getting mad! You won’t like me when I’m angry!”

And then I realized I was quoting the Incredible Hulk, or technically Bruce Banner before he Hulks out.

Mom Hulk Needs a Time Out

I was at the point where I felt more like I was turning purple than green, but just the realization that I was turning into Mom Hulk made me stop and laugh at my myself. I was being loud and angry and felt like crushing puny humans.

Because what can you really do with a toddler? Yelling and threatening doesn’t help. Beating them is frowned upon. Reasoning doesn’t seem to work either. So I did the only thing I could think of and pulled out the old standard, “GO to your room! Time Out!” Mostly because I needed a time out myself.

It lasted all of a couple minutes before he poked his head out and said he wanted to play with his cars. Somehow that seemed to have pressed a reset button on both of us. I went back to my normal mild-mannered self, and he went back to his crazy but not too crazy toddler antics.

Dealing with Toddler Tantrums

Dealing with toddler tantrums can be challenging, and sometimes (ok, often) timeouts don’t actually work. However, they are useful for letting you catch your breath, gather your thoughts, and figure out your next move.

Below is a list of tips and tactics for dealing with tantrums. My usual go-to is “distract and redirect,” but you may have to try them all to see which one works best you.

1. Stay Calm: It’s important to remain calm during a tantrum. Take deep breaths and remind yourself that tantrums are a normal part of toddler development.
2. Validate Feelings: Acknowledge your toddler’s feelings, even if you don’t agree with their behavior. You can say something like, “I can see that you’re feeling frustrated right now.”
3. Stay Consistent: Establish consistent rules and consequences for behavior. This helps toddlers understand what is expected of them and reduces the likelihood of tantrums.
4. Distract and Redirect: Try to redirect your toddler’s attention to something else when they are starting to become upset. Offer them a toy or suggest a different activity to help them calm down.
5. Use Positive Reinforcement: Praise your toddler when they behave well and use positive reinforcement to encourage good behavior. This can help prevent tantrums in the future.
6. Offer Choices: Give your toddler choices whenever possible to give them a sense of control. For example, you can ask, “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt today?”
7. Stick to Routines: Toddlers thrive on routine, so try to stick to a consistent schedule for meals, naps, and bedtime. This can help prevent tantrums caused by hunger or fatigue.
8. Model Calm Behavior: Show your toddler how to handle frustration and anger by modeling calm behavior yourself. Take deep breaths and use positive language to express your own feelings.
9. Provide Comfort: Sometimes toddlers just need to be comforted during a tantrum. Offer hugs and reassurance to let them know that you are there for them.
10. Know When to Ignore: In some cases, it’s best to ignore minor tantrums rather than giving them attention and reinforcing the behavior. However, if your toddler is in danger or harming themselves, intervene immediately.

Remember that every child is different, so it may take some trial and error to find the strategies that work best for your toddler. Be patient and consistent and remember that tantrums are a normal (although very trying) part of childhood development.

So, what’s your angry mom tactics for calming the rage before you turn into a hulking green monster?