My 2-year-old is going through some intense development right now, and the resulting tantrums are quite impressive. I am lucky they are short-lived because the decibel level of the screams could possibly cause some eardrum issues. If I have any future hearing loss, I’ll be telling my son he did this to me as a toddler. I’ve read a lot about it being the result of them not being able to communicate, and then the frustration manifests itself as a screaming demon. The articles didn’t actually say “screaming demon,” but I know what they were getting at. So I’m going to unveil the mystery behind what really causes tantrums:
You gave them the cookie they asked for. It was the wrong cookie.
You gave them the right cookie, but you put it in the wrong spot. Cookie is now on the floor.
You picked the cookie up off the floor. No!! They were going to eat that.
We’re done with cookies and now want cars. You can’t find the right car
You found the right car, but put it on the table and he wanted it on the floor.
Do you see a pattern here? It’s obviously us. We’re doing it all wrong. Our mind reading skills are just not sharp enough. Some days we get it. And some days, you just have to hand them the whole darn bag of cookies and walk away.
It seems a lot of my life is separated into BB and AB. (Before Baby and After Baby) As much as I was adamant about how having baby would not change who I am, once again, I was Wrong. So wrong. (this is a reoccurring theme, lol)
I am sure plenty of people have kids and go right back to who they were, but there’s no way I can stay out late and do events several nights a week and then get up and take good care of my son. Having a pounding hangover does not make for a happy and engaged mom.
And I worked all the time. I loved my work, and events were part of that. But owning a business and a retail store takes ALL your time and brain power just thinking about all you have to do. A business requires care and tending as well. So I closed my store, dissolved the Three Muses Clothing, LLC and took a step back.
In the mean time, I started this blog and called it Geek Mamas because I had big plans to involve lots of other moms. Then I realized I barely had time to run it myself, much less work with other people so I just began to blog about stuff I had going on and that seemed to work better. I’d still like to have guest bloggers though. We’ll work on that…
I still like to make things so I kept my Etsy shop open and my facebook page and just changed the names to Candy K Cosplay as a sort of placeholder while I figured things out.
I now identify as Mom, geek, cosplayer and all-around crafty person. I also love the beach but Sew Beachy Geek Mama seemed too long…
So here is the official new business/blog name and new logo:
I’m working on changing all my social media links and names and everything. There’s so much! I’m still finding Three Muses stuff everywhere too. I don’t plan on doing a big retail thing again. This is just going to be small stuff I can fit in without it interrupting my family life. Little stuff on the side, and my blog and Youtube tutorials when I can. I don’t want a business to take over my life again, because the life After Baby is really great just the way it is!
My days used to be spent lacing people up in corsets and helping them pick out fancy costumes. Now I feel like 95% of my day is spent trying to find something my toddler will agree to eat. It’s quite a lifestyle change and takes some adjusting.
Why do toddlers hate food? Or love something one day so you stock up on it and then they refuse to even touch it?
I clearly remember my great grandmother feeding me steak piece by piece while I pretended to be a little bird stealing it from her fork. It probably took 45 minutes for me to finish the entire thing but she kept up with it. I now totally understand why. Being a parent has given me insight into certain things from my childhood that I never really would’ve understood otherwise. I also remember her making me a pizza at 10 PM at night just because I said I was hungry. Parents (and grandparents) will do anything to get a kid to eat.
I can tell Keelan is going to be a skinny kid, just like me and his dad were. I hope he eventually embraces our love of good food and cooking. Right now I might as well make him a nice dinner and then dump it on the floor because that’s where it ends up. But I will keep trying! I really look forward to the day he is helping me make gourmet dinners the kitchen and picking out his own sushi at dinner. (Early 20s maybe? Lol)
Until then, I’ll just keep slicing up those hotdogs. Unless he hates them this week of course.
Ok, to be honest, I don’t exactly know what day it is. I started in November so I just averaged the months together. If you are doing this too, you understand I’m short on time!
Time is this amazing valuable commodity I can’t seem to get enough of. In fact, that’s the only present I requested for the next year. I told my husband “I only want guilt-free gifts of time for myself.” Guilt-free means they are given without making a fuss about how it is taking away from his precious time to get all his very important things done. And also a good chunk of time because a couple hours is NOT enough and it just sucks to have a little time for yourself but rush everything because you feel like you have to get back home asap.
This is my first blog since the holidays. I missed all those golden blogging opportunities the holidays present, the optimistic or often nostalgic “where did this year go” New Year’s blog…and now we are heading straight into Valentine’s Day and all I asked for was a day to go get my hair done at a salon. Something I used to take for granted. I could spend alllll day getting my hair colored and cut if a wanted. But now I have to plan way in advance, coordinate schedules, etc. I really want to get low lights and be a little less of a blinding blond color. But that takes time. About 4 hours last time I tried it. Where on Earth does a SAHM get time for that? Well they probably don’t and they manage to whip some box color up during a nap time to get by. That’s probably where I’m headed. And if all else fails, at least I look good in hats.
You know what the weird thing is? I’m still super happy I made this decision and I still love it. Every day. Even the tough days, of which there are many. But I had tough days when I ran my boutique. No matter what you choose in life, there will be tough days. As my Green Beret husband would say, “Embrace the suck.” So I do have some seriously sucky days, but somehow they still make me happy when I go to bed at night.
But seriously, he needs to embrace the suck a bit more and let me have a spa day or something because this momma could use a pedicure, a massage and new ‘do!
Tomorrow my little bundle of joy that forever changed my world turns one. I can’t believe how fast it went, but to be honest, the first couple months went by in slow motion while everyone told me how fast it actually goes. It’s hard to really embrace that during those sleepless nights and days of feeding and screaming and crying (for both of us). But then after a few months it starts going fast, and then it feels like you can’t slow it down and you’d take those slow first weeks back in a heartbeat.
It was during those months and this past year that I learned everything I thought about babies was wrong. And every judgmental thought I ever had about kids or parenting was wrong. I never thought I knew everything. I knew I was pretty clueless, but I still had opinions about things like daycare, working, or just having a messy kid covered in food stains. And then I learned until you have a kid, you have no clue what you will be like on the other side of labor.
I can honestly say I ran to daycare like a drowning woman to a lifeboat as soon as Keelan was old enough. I needed a break. I needed some me time back. I needed to get back to work after a few failed attempts at bringing the baby to work with me. You try lacing someone up in a corset with a fussy baby strapped to your chest. I may dress like Wonder Woman at times, but I discovered I cannot actually do it all and I do need help.
And then a funny thing happened after I finally did get back to work and got some me time. I missed Keelan all day long. I looked at his pictures all day, I took any chance I could to leave work early and I discovered my heart wasn’t in working 24-7 anymore. This little guy had come along and stole my heart away. My business used to be my baby, but it paled in comparison to my actual baby.
So here I am, packing up my store after seven great years and closing the doors to go back to where I started 10 years ago, as a website – ThreeMusesClothing.com. I really enjoyed my experience running the boutique. I met so many great people and had a lot of fun. And maybe, a few years down the road when K starts school, I might open a boutique again. But for now, all I want to do is be mommy. I want to soak it up, revel in it and enjoy every minute of this amazing little boy. Moving back online and away from the daily demands of the brick and mortar shop gives me the freedom to do that.
Being a mom is a challenge, a blessing and a complete life changing experience. I am immeasurably thankful I finally get to experience this. So Happy First Birthday Keelan! You are so incredibly loved by so many. I love watching you grow and learn and look forward to all the adventures we will have.