Sometimes I write about the total nonsense that happens on a daily basis, and today we have a mystery in the house. It all started with a little piece of poop on the rug. It was small, like cat poo size. We have a cat and a dog and figured it could have been either.

Then a few days later, there was a piece of poo stuck on the corner of the stairs. The cat doesn’t usually go down the stairs, so we blamed the dog. He has long butt hair and gets the occasional dingleberry. We thought maybe it was stuck to his fur and just fell off once he got in the house.

Then, the real mystery began when we found a strange brown blob stuck to the side of the coffee table. I was like, Is that POOP?? Gross. I hope it’s not poop. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I think it is poop. What the hell. How did it get there?

My husband picked it off and gave it a sniff (something I was unwilling to do) and proclaimed that yes, it was actually poop.

It was the same size and appearance of the two previous mystery turds, yet this was in a place it couldn’t have just fallen off. It was more like smeared into place on the upper edge of the table.

Since the table was about butt-level with the dog, we now suspect the dog is sneaking around and wiping his butt on things.

We have yet to catch him in the act! But a couple days ago, my husband found another mystery poo, same appearance, this time on the bathroom door frame. He then proclaimed we had a poo gremlin, and I’m apt to agree.

It’s been a couple days since the last mystery poo, but I know it’s out there. Just waiting to show up in some weird place.