The last tattoo I got was 29 years ago. I said I’d never get another one until I forgot how bad that one hurt. I guess with age comes forgetfulness, so here I am at almost 49 and finally got another tattoo.

Why a Tattoo?

I’ve actually been wanting to get something for a while, but as I mentioned, my last tattoo hurt like hell, and I wasn’t all that keen on submitting myself to a few hours of intense pain. It’s a sun and moon design on my lower back, and the once colorful design is now mostly a faded gray.

The idea for this one came about after a girls weekend in Savannah, where we all got a really good and insightful tarot card reading. So, there are two other cards that belong to this exclusive deck- The Empress for my friend Jenna and The Magician for my friend Heather. The artwork is all original and done by Jenna’s daughter Angie. You can find her on Instagram at @angiehtattoo, and she works at Farewell Tattoos in Jacksonville, FL.

The Star Tarot Card

I was drawn to The Star card before I even knew its meaning. The more I read about it, the more I fell in love with the idea.

To receive The Star in your reading signifies that you’ve endured and overcome a difficult life challenge. Despite the hardship, you held on to hope. While you may not have realized your strength at the time, you’re now beginning to recognize that the loss helped you uncover your resilience and inner power. Only now can you truly appreciate everything you have.

I spent the last few years working through a lot of sadness after my best friend and grandmother passed away. They both were huge losses. This card is about working through hard times and being ready to embrace the light and what comes next. The Star card signals a time of healing.

There’s a lot of symbolism in the card- the woman (or in my case, mermaid) is naked because she has nothing to hide. She’s feels secure about just being herself. The smaller stars are the seven chakras, the large star is the guiding light or your soul. The water being poured is the cycle of life and balance. The rings in the water are the five senses.

In the background of my card, I included the constellations for these zodiac signs: Cancer for my friend Meisha, Pisces for my grandmother Nanny, Aries for my son and husband, and Virgo for myself. There are also two Elder Futhark runes at the top: Ingwaz and Fehu.

Tattooing Has Changed in the Last 20 Years

Another thing that sealed the deal on getting another tattoo, was that numbing cream is now widely available. My friend Jenna has a lot of tattoos, and she recommended this TKTX Gold Numbing Cream with 23% Lidocaine. And as much as I’d like to recommend it on Amazon and get an affiliate commission, I can’t. Do not get it on Amazon!

There are several on Amazon, but the letters are different, and they don’t say anything about having the Lidocaine in them. The real stuff is from Mithra Numbing Cream. Nothing I’ve ever gotten on Amazon worked at all. This stuff is Amazing!

The tattoo gun has changed as well. It’s not even a “gun” anymore, but more resembles an electric toothbrush (at least, that’s what it made me think of). And the effect is not quite as brutal feeling as it used to be. At least, that’s what Jenna told me, because I couldn’t feel a thing for the most part.

I did feel it around all of the corners though, because I didn’t get the cream out far enough. I underestimated the size of the tattoo. You need to spread it beyond the edges of where you want it to numb.

I’ll definitely be using this stuff when I re-do my lower back!

Happy Birthday to Me

I turn 49 on September 21st, and as I enter the last year of my 40s, I am happy with where I am in life. But that doesn’t mean I’m complacent. Life is constantly changing, and you have to keep growing and changing to keep living. I spent a lot of my late 40s feeling a bit lost.

It’s great to achieve your lifetime dream, and for me that was to have a costume store and be a costume designer. I did that for a long time, and then I realized I did not want to do that anymore. So, what do you do after that? You have to find new dreams. I closed my store and lost myself in being a mom and just trying to get through the long days of toddlerhood.

And as I was starting to come out of that, my best friend suddenly passed away and it just crushed me. She was my rock, the one who had been there for the last 25 years. We were supposed to grow into funny old ladies together, and suddenly I was alone. Of course, I still had my family, but there was a big hole in my heart that just felt empty.

It has taken a few years, but I don’t feel so alone anymore. I’ve deepened the connection with some friends and also made a few new friends that I feel are in it for the long haul. I’ve also learned to protect myself better and cut away from a few toxic “friends.” The people that I surround myself with now are a positive influence. Supportive, caring, open and honest. And I think that’s a good place to be.