I was chatting with another mom at the park the other day and the topic of school came up. I said I couldn’t wait until the fall when VPK starts and my son goes to school five days a week. (VPK is Florida’s free preschool program) And she said, “That’s funny, I’m terrified of it! I won’t know what to do with myself.”
Since I did a whole blog post about how I’m trying to be less judgy of people, I tried to keep the look of horror off my face and managed to mumble “ohhhhh….” while trying not to sound weird. All I could think was “I don’t relate to this woman at all…there’s ALWAYS something to do….”
I could make a list of about ten other things I could be taking care of right now, but I’m sitting in the middle of a baseball field watching my son bury his cars in the dirt.
Not that I don’t think these moments playing with my son in the park are important. I value these moments so much that I closed my business, completely changed my life and decided to stay home just so I wouldn’t miss any of this. But we’ve been at the park for two hours and I can only play cars in the dirt for so long before I feel my brain slowly turning to mush and get an urge to go do something a little more productive.
Unfortunately there’s no point in trying to get him to go home because it’s not like I can accomplish anything there anyway. My son is constantly on the go, getting into something, talking non-stop and asking for food every ten minutes. Some days I just feel like a glorified waitress.
I just cannot wait until I get back a small portion of my own time five days a week. I am literally living for the moment. Some days it’s all I can think of, just to keep me going. Knowing this feeling of being stuck is going to end, is the light at the end of this SAHM-induced tunnel.
A little time to yourself. How could you not want that?
It’s not the first time I’ve heard that comment either. Each time I’m equally shocked.
I wonder if maybe somebody cleans their house. I feel like the housework portion of the SAHM gig is never finished. I remember back when I could actually clean my house without a small tornado messing it up right behind me. This creates an endless cleaning loop.
Or I figure they must have family nearby, like a grandma that loves to watch the kids. I don’t have any family in town so if I want a break I have to hire someone. In other words, I rarely get a break, and when I do, it’s pricey.
Then I start to wonder if they have no personal interests of their own. Maybe they didn’t have a life before kids. I did. I had a big life filled with events and costumes and traveling all over as a Cosplay Guest for ComicCon type conventions. I used to stay up until 3AM making costumes, now I can’t remember the last time I stayed up past 10:30. I have tons of materials I thought I’d be able to get back to by now. But here were are, four years later, and the boxes are still full of unassembled costume parts.
It takes a big effort just to make time to write this blog. In fact, the only way I’m editing this post right now is because I paid a babysitter for a few hours today and I escaped to Panera with my laptop. I really needed a break and writing makes me feel better. It helps me decompress after a day of tantrums and constant negotiating. I’m looking forward to having a little bit of time each day, while my son is in school, where I can sit and think and write without a lot of advance planning.
So then I start to think maybe her kid is really sweet all the time and mine tends to act like a big butthead typical difficult three-year-old. The kid is a challenge! It takes every scrap of patience I can muster, along the occasional desperate Google search for parenting advice, just to get through the day. Every day has its ups and downs and then there will be a streak of bad days that make me question all my choices in life.
These are all the things floating through my head whenever I hear a mom say something like “I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.”
Because I know exactly what I’ll be doing with myself when I get that five days of guaranteed time- getting back to being ME and enjoying a little taste of what I used to take for granted:
What about you? Do you look forward to your kids being in school or are you still trying to figure out what to do with yourself?
Categories: Mom Life
Geek Mamas 
I couldn’t have said it better myself!
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Thanks! It’s always nice to find someone who relates 🙂
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Hahaha there’s ALWAYS something to do! Great blog
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Yep! Always! 🙂
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YESSSSS. I LIVE for the days my kids go to preschool. That’s my me-time. Very rarely do I choose to keep them home… as in, I’m pretty sure today is the first time in two years, because we had a LOT of schooling to catch up on.
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I’m pretty much like, Are you dying? No? Then you go to school, Lol.
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Lol! Yes! No near death illness = going to school! 🙌🏽
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I totally understand! A well-balanced time between mommy duties and ‘me time’ is always healthy 🙂
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Love this! I agree, always, the list is never ending.
My 3 year old is going to be evaluated next week for the ‘role model child’ program at the school his older siblings go to. If he gets accepted then I’ll only be staying home with my 2 year old. I’m crossing my fingers AND toes that he gets in!
Love the memes 🤣🙌🏽
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oh good luck! That sounds exciting 🙂
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Thank you, it is! It’s a great program.
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There are so many things I could do… Though, honestly, when my oldest started preschool and it was just my 1.5 year old and me, we were a little lost at first. I think we were a little bit in shock, especially at how quiet it was.
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I think you’ve confirmed one of my suspicions – that people who feel this way have a child who is a bit on the quieter side. There is nothing quiet about my son. Ever. It’s like nonstop chatter since he was born. I’m amazed at how much he talks. And when I’m not talking to him, he talks to himself!
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It must be those children who are quiet and can self-entertain. I can only dream of what that must be like. My son didn’t really talk until he was almost 3 and I really miss those days. It’s amazing how much small children have to say.
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Totally relatable! We could always use a little more “me” time !
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I actually like having my kids around and don’t find them a burden but the breaks are needed too. 😉 especially my 4-year old! The 12-year old is fairly independent so he’s less time consuming 😉
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Breaks are definitely a must! For sanity 🙂
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Yes because this week I’m really feeling like my sanity is flying away ! 😂
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I can relate! I’m a working mom and my list of things to do are never ending! I enjoy back to school time because it means not having to pay for care during the week BUT it also means lunches, projects, homework, picture days, and many more things that clutter my to do list!
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I’m only experiencing the lunches part so far with pre-school and I was already like, oh man, I’m going to have to do this 5 days a week now…LOL
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Once you get in a good routine it gets easy….until something knocks you out of your routine lol
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Love this! My kid is 14 months and he’s already driving us up the wall! Wouldn’t want it any other way though! I love being his mom! Can’t wait till he’s in pre school and I can have conversations with him and moments where he will test my sanity. LoL
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Great post. I have two young kids and two older step children. Free time? Winter sports and being a taxi driver eats so much time I should become an Uber driver and charge my kids.
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I look forward to one day having a bit of free time again! It’s such a luxury to have “nothing to do.” I mean, right now I’m answering comments while my son crashes cars into my feet, lol.
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