For the first time in years, we are hosting Thanksgiving at home! I’m gearing up to start prepping the big 27lb turkey, peel some potatoes and get the stuffing started. I’ve got a day of cooking ahead of me and I’m really looking forward to it. I am always happy in the kitchen cooking. It may be a little hectic today, but I can’t wait to get started.

I have so much to be thankful for this year, and while there were ups and downs, I’m still grateful for the good things. Today the house will be filled with family, and friends that are like family.

I’m happy I got to spend last Thanksgiving with my grandmother, who passed away in February. That was the most difficult part of the year. But the rest of the year has been pretty good overall.

The only thing missing at our Thanksgiving is my mom, who is perfectly capable of driving, but too scared of traffic to drive herself to Jacksonville. It’s a real shame that absolutely nothing is stopping her from being here except herself. It’s hard to explain to our son who keeps asking why Nana isn’t coming. Eight-years-old is a little young to understand mental illness and how anxieties can take over your life and cause you to miss out on things.

But stuff like that just reinforces my own determination to not let my own anxieties stop me from doing things I want to do. And the only reason I’m writing about it here, is because it’s taking everything I have not to rip into her every time she blames everything in the world but herself for her not just driving here like a normal person would. She wasn’t here the last time I cooked Thanksgiving either.

So I’m looking forward to a wonderful day full of food, friends and family. My husband’s 80+ year old parents managed to drive here safely. And Lord help me reply nicely to my mother’s mile-long texts about how miserable she is while she stays at home for no reason at all.

I am just trying to get it all out here, where she will most likely never see it, because writing is my therapy. Life goes by so fast. Not everybody makes it to the next Thanksgiving, so appreciate the ones you have with you. I know I do. And I can’t wait to go get started cooking for them right now. 🙂