I Dig Baby Talk

img_6066My toddler has a pretty big vocabulary. He has a name for everything, and often I think his names are way better. I know you’re supposed to teach them the right words and correct them, but sometimes their words are just more fun!

My son calls motorcycles “mogatoos.” So everytime I see one I want to shout “Mogatoo!” It’s more fun to say, so I find it hard to correct him. But I don’t want him to show up the first day of kindergarten and tell everyone he wants to ride a mogatoo. That’s probably a parenting fail.

Strawberries are straw babies. He also likes blue babies and cran babies.

His sippy cup is a Z cup.
See? More fun.

I will do my job and eventually correct him. But I think I’ll keep mogatoo for a little while longer. 😁

So, what unique words has your toddler come up with?

Living by a new set of rules

1uwe9mNothing makes sense anymore. In my old, pre-baby life, if someone asked me for waffles, I’d make them waffles and we’d be good. Now if the child asks for waffles, I end up with screams of despair and cold waffles and I’m still not really sure where I went wrong. I’ve given up trying to figure it out. The only thing I know is, there is a new set of rules, and I’m not the one making them.

Top 10 Toddler Rules for Parents (especially those of crazy little boys)

1) Never let your guard down. The moment you do you get beaned in the head with something. Probably something hard.

2) Don’t look away. Because when you turn back around they are probably already hanging off a window ledge.

3) Don’t invest in whatever they eat at someone else’s house. Because when you get home they’ll hate it. And then you have five boxes of fruit bars they keep trying to feed to the dog.

4) Don’t invest in what they like today at your own house either because tomorrow they will most likely hate it, and by now the dog is getting pretty fat.

5) Diaper-free time means I’m cleaning pee up off the floor time.

6) There’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything. The right way is that one way you did it the first time three weeks ago. The wrong way is however you are trying to do it now, so you get an extended tantrum for your failure to remember to do it the right way.

7) There is a specific tiny car for every activity or outing. Also, you will need about 5,679 hot wheels cars to get through toddlerhood.

8) If there is a puddle, they will find it. If there is dirt, they will find it. If there is both, you might as well just camp out for a while.

9) They can be the worst little hellion ever and wipe it away with a hug, a kiss and a sweet little baby voiced “I love you.” And they know it.

10) They are going to steal your heart and one day you’ll miss the puddles and tiny cars and insistence on being carried everywhere. Toddlerhood doesn’t last forever. Just cover your ears keep repeating that during the next screamfest that erupts because you won’t let them lick the light socket.

Drinking Wine and Blogging in My Activewear

cheersMy wardrobe has taken a dramatic turn since my child became mobile. It’s the heart-stopping, turn your head and he’s gone kind of mobile. Once we entered this activity- enhanced phase and I found myself running down the street, chasing through store aisles, crawling around playgrounds, navigating the grocery store with a child/monkey climbing me…these are not activities for cute dresses and strappy shoes. Nope. I needed to invest in some Activewear.

I started with a cheap sports bra on Amazon that ended up being the most comfortable thing in the world. I ended up buying a 6 pack in different colors! Bye-bye Victoria’s Secret $50 bra! Hello $6 Amazon special. Everything pokes, scratches or just bugs me so I looooove these things. I’m serious. My last order of VS undies I have to wear inside out because the damn seams are so sharp. I warned my husband what was up so he wouldn’t think I was losing it.

Then I invested in some really comfy sneakers and started collecting running capris. Not as long as yoga pants (I’m in Florida!) but not as short as shorts. And then added cute tank tops to pair over the sports bras. This is now my daily wardrobe. While I do actually go to the gym a few times a week, I dress like this regardless of my gym attendance. It’s just so functional! And I think it looks a lot better than the big T-shirts and jean shorts combo I was rocking post-maternity wear.

So I get the yoga pants mom thing now. I may actually look into those when it gets chilly! I am guilty of doing everything in my activewear, because I am up and moving most of the day. I didn’t even go to the gym today or workout and still hit 19,000 steps on my Fitbit just running around trying to balance housework and “toddler things.” So cheers to all you mom’s out there in your fancy activewear. We all know you earned it.

He’s got a yuck mouth, because he don’t brush

My son, brushing the sides of the tub instead of his teeth

Total mom confession time – My kid’s breath smells like poop. And the title to this post is from a song I remember from some tooth brushing special from when I was little. Nobody wants a yuck mouth!

Like, seriously. His nasty breath is on par with the dogs. I don’t know how to get him to brush his teeth. It’s a constant struggle. At least once a day I sit on him and hold him down and then force him to brush his teeth. Then eventually he will take it from me and agreed to chew on the toothbrush. I considered looking for one of those dog toothbrushes that have the three sides so when he chews on it at least he gets some toothbrushing action.

I recall not liking brushing my teeth as a kid. I also pretty vividly recall the gum surgery I had to have in my 20s. I want my child to have good dental hygiene. Much better than mine. He has dental insurance and I did not, so he already has an advantage.

I have no idea how to make this more appealing. I have already tried toothbrushes that flash lights and sing songs. We have one that mimics a light saber, noises and all. It make me want to brush MY teeth for goodness sakes. I have sung songs, bribed with treats (which seems counter-productive), demonstrated on teddy bears, watched the Elmo and Blippy episodes about how awesome tooth brushing is, but it is just not sinking in.

What is the magic secret? How do I keep my kid from having a yuck mouth? Do I just need to relax because they will all eventually fall out anyway?

Mommies HELP…

What a brat! Wait… You mean they’re all like that?

screaming-toddler-saluteWhat a brat. Yep, I thought that many times while looking at your kid screaming for apparently no reason in public. Most likely while I stood there, comparing prices and calmly reading labels because nobody was screaming for me while trying to climb my body like a monkey. This was, of course, before I had a baby and found out there is absolutely no way to avoid an occasional public meltdown besides never ever leaving the house again.

So I ventured out. And there were tantrums, and there were the looks. I know those looks! But the moms know. And the dads too. You can see in their eyes they feel your pain. You can also see a hint of “I’m just glad it’s not me this time,” and that’s OK because we’ve all been there too.

So, tantrum toddler moms, I salute you! You are out there just trying to keep it together while your kid has a nuclear meltdown. Ignore the stares from the ignorant. They know nothing! But, if they are lucky, they will learn one day. And one day, when they have a rare quiet moment, they’ll think back to all those judgey looks and then write a blog where they apologize for everything. Or maybe that’s just me.