Every day starts off with grand intentions. He’s going to eat all his breakfast! Then we brush teeth! Serious potty training starts now! Then it takes about two minutes into the morning for it to all go to hell and I’m giving the kid M&Ms for breakfast just so I can sit for a minute and have a cup of coffee without being harassed. So here’s my list of my top five “Mom Fails” that happen on an almost daily basis:
1) Tooth Brushing – He hates it so much that I usually have to straddle him, pin his arms down and then brush all the teeth I can get to as quickly as possible. We just had his first dentist visit recently and coincidentally, they actually recommended the pinning them down method! I guess that’s a Mom win after all.
2) His Hair – The kid needs a haircut. I sent him to pre-school this morning looking like a toddler Einstein, and not in good way. I even tried applying a hair smoothing product and it refused to do anything but stick straight up.
3) The Bribery – I know I’m setting myself up for failure here, but I usually get him a toy at the grocery store or candy at the checkout line. I can almost enjoy our grocery store outings this way. But he expects it now. In fact, he asks to go to the grocery store all the time because he thinks it’s a magical place of new cars and chocolate.
4) The Food – He would exclusively eat M&M’s and fruit gummies if given the opportunity, so I’ll do anything to get him to eat solid food. Hotdogs for breakfast? Sure. A fried egg and peanut butter from the jar for dinner? Yep that’s happened. These are obviously not the best choices, but all my efforts at good wholesome meals end up on the floor so I figure I’ll just at least feed him some something he will eat.
5) My Restaurant Tactics – Taking a toddler out to dinner is a unique form of torture. In an effort to not just stuff my face while trying to keep him from escaping, I will let him do whatever keeps him quiet within reason. Last night he entertained himself by sticking his straw in my margarita, then licking it. Don’t get judgy, it was mostly just lime flavored ice. He also likes to lick all the tortilla chips and then put them back. That’s why he gets his own bowl of chips now.
So are of these really fails? No, I’m pretty sure they’re necessary survival tactics for parenting. (Though we could use some improvement on the dental hygiene angle.) I think a lot of parents will look at this list and be like, been there, done that. So what’s your #MomFail #MakingItWork moments?
Categories: Mom Life
Geek Mamas 
lol. half the battle is seeing the humour in it. 🙂
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Totally agree! Humor is a good coping mechanism. 😁
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Abe’s hair is the SAME. Even the Mocos de Gorilla super strength won’t tame it when he’s in need of a haircut!
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I keep planning to cut it, then he has some amazing cute hair day where it curls and falls right into place and I wait a little longer…
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[ Chuckles ] Let his dad bribe him for a change.
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He does… but with ice cream and cookies! Lol
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Oh, that’s totally survival!
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My husband started the “let’s get a Hot Wheel every time we go to Wal-Mart” because he remembers his dad doing that. Never mind the fact that they only went to Wal-Mart like once a month back then. Never mind the fact that I’m usually the one stuck in Wal-Mart with them twice a week. Although now mine are 8 and 6. We’ve graduated from Hot Wheels to begging for Nerf. *facepalm* 😊
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Two of them, twice a week…that’s really going to add up! Better steer them toward those $1 Hot Wheelz lol
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PS – I tried to comment on your blog and it told me “Blocked as suspected bot” 😦 Don’t know why it didn’t like me. I filled in all the blanks correctly.
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Thanks for letting me know! I think I fixed it now. Still pretty new at this, so all help is appreciated. 😊
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Omg what a funny post. Totally loved reading it as always. I just had my son 3 months ago and there have already been moments when i have gone out of the norm to keep him from crying whenever he is fussy. #survival
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That’s going to be your life for the next several years lol. Solving the “what can I do to make him stop crying?” Equation . The more answers you find, the better 😉 (and congrats btw)
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I love this XD I can relate to every point
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This is definitely every parents survival mode tactics. Hey! Whatever helps! 😊 I’ve given cereal for dinner because they’ve refused to eat a perfectly hot meal or given them a 2nd serving of ice cream just to avoid hearing the crying. Although in my head, they absolutely know who’s boss! 🙄😆
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Yeah….we all know who’s the boss… LOL
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🤣🤦🏽♀️
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Haha…at this point taking A to a restaurant is so much torture that we only do if we absolutely have to. We’ve done pretty well at the grocery store so far but I know darn well our time is coming. Honestly, I try not to take them with me mostly because of all the human trafficking reports in our area…scares me to death. Potty training has been a full on fail for us but she will brush her teeth…not very well though and certainly not for the 2 suggested minutes, lol.
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Out of all this, I finished reading and was like Oh Wow, she brushes her teeth! Total win! lol
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LOL…that’s about my only win. My kid is a pure toddler tornado. Climbs on everything, gets into everything she shouldn’t (including what we have childproof locks on) and refuses to obey no or stop. We’ve got our work cut out for us!
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