On Facebook and Instagram I keep seeing people’s “2009 vs 2019” or #10yearchallenge posts and it got me thinking about how different things are now. Ten years ago I was building a costume business, partying late two or three times a week and traveling all over for conventions. A decade later, and I’m living a completely different life.
The year 2009 was a big one for me. I opened my costume and corset boutique, Three Muses Inspired Clothing, in January that year. I had a web store for three years before deciding to go brick-and-mortar. It was a huge change. The store became my baby until seven years later it was replaced with my new, actual baby. I was working all the time and felt like I was missing too much, so I made the monumental decision to close up shop and be a stay-at-home-mom. I went all in.
My 2009 photo is from a modeling shoot, which is something I haven’t done in years. I used to model bikinis! Now I mostly model piles of laundry or just post photos of my son because he looks better without a filter.
But I love it all the same. I loved what I was doing then, and I love what I’m doing now. Opening my shop was a dream come true. It’s exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to make pretty things and have my own little store. It was so much fun! It was also a ton of work and a 24-7 commitment to keep both the shop and the website running. I had been in the costume business almost ten years by the time my son was born, and I was really ready for a change. I just had no idea how much of a change it would be!
Being a mom and raising a human continues to be the biggest challenge I have ever faced. I have never had to try harder to do a good job on something, and have had to tap into places of myself I didn’t know existed. I have discovered levels of patience and compassion I was not aware I could manifest. I also have a completely new respect for anyone who has done this parenting thing, and am spending a lot time taking back a lot of judgey things I may have thought in the past. One of the biggest ones was being critical of women who quit work when they had a child.
Like Jon Snow, I knew nothing.
It was a life changing decision for me to close my store, but also so was having a child. And in an effort to give him the best life possible, I decided to try a new path. And I may fumble often on this journey, and sometimes it may feel like I decided to scale mountains with no prior training, but I know deep down it’s the right path for my journey. Because every day my son brings me joy and makes my heart nearly burst with this amazing kind of love. Also every day he farts on me, cries because I peeled his banana wrong and makes me want scream and hide in the closet.
But life’s all about balance right?
Here’s to all the mama’s out there, posting pics of themselves ten years ago before kids, and thinking about what life was like back then. I hope you all can see more the silver lining than the silver the kids have brought to your hair.