The Mystery of Making Mom Friends

see-you-have-created-a-tiny-human-i-too-have-18047322I originally posted this last year, but there have been some updates! I still suck at making mom friends, but I have managed to actually meet a few new people, who happen to be moms and even consider them to be friends. This is progress!

Original post: Let’s start this by being honest and saying I suck at this “mom friend” thing. It’s just like trying to make regular friends (not so great at that either) but harder because you probably have nothing else in common except your mom status.

* I do thankfully have friends who just happen to also be moms, but I’m talking about meeting new friends.

I started by joining mom groups on Facebook. I concentrated on one active one thinking, hey I’m making connections! But then I got kicked out, right on the day I was having a total mom breakdown because I hadn’t had much sleep in two days and K wouldn’t stop crying. Previously that week I had tried to do a meet-up at the zoo with them and totally failed finding the meeting spot and tried to be like, hey no big deal, we’ll just play here at the water park area. Apparently that was seen as “blowing them off.” See? I had no idea how horribly offensive I am.

I also joined a local place where kids can go and play, and in all the reviews it talks about how people just LOVE going there and have met SO MANY great mom friends! But unfortunately I have not met one other person in the 3 months we’ve been going there. Oh, I say hi and smile. Ask the obligatory “How old is he/she” while hoping I got the gender right because sometimes I can’t tell and that seems to be a conversation killer right there. Then we both go off running in separate directions to chase after our kids. And therein lies the problem. Even when I actually do meet up with another mom, we get maybe a few whole sentences in the span of a couple hours. I’m starting to suspect people who make mom friends have kids that stay still and aren’t trying to hurl themselves from the top of the jungle gym or throw toy cars over the fence.

Also, moms are busy. They are terribly hard to set up a date with and easily cancel due to a million different things. The more kids involved, the harder it is to meet up. And no matter where you met up, it’s like hanging out with someone with a severe case of ADD.

So maybe I am a little sad I never had that magical moment where your eyes meet across the playground and you become lifelong pals as your kids grow up together. (That’s how it happens, right?) But at least I’ve got my little buddy to keep me company so I’ll never be alone on the playground.

8/22/17 Update: Check out Dorky Mom Doodles, who reposted this blog along with spot-on illustrations. She gets it 🙂

6/21/18 Update: OMG I made a Mom Friend! And we actually DID meet on the playground! And then we became friends because we are both in the weird situation where we left careers to be stay-at-home-moms and our husbands travel ALL the time. We met on the playground and then ended up going to the same gym, because we were both taking advantage of their 1.5 hours of free child care! I wanted to repost this just to give you guys some hope if you are in a similar situation. It can happen! You can find your mom friend buddy. Just as long as you find someone doing the exact same thing you are, at the exact same time, with a kid nearly the same age. See? Easy peasy. lol.

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12 thoughts on “The Mystery of Making Mom Friends

  1. I so feel this. Last night we went to a BBQ and there was a woman there with a kid one month younger than mine. She seemed really cool and her kid was super sweet, but mine was throwing the tantrum of the century, so we had to leave. Total bummer. Especially because she lives on the beach. I could have had a friend with a beach house… sigh.

  2. I’m horrible at trying to make mom friends it’s very awkward for me. That and I hardly leave the house. No facebook just started Instagram not feeling the social media thing. But I enjoyed reading this guess I’m not the only one having this issue!

      1. Yes, definitely. I’d be sad if people didn’t follow me lol. I do have several friends that are moms and mom acquaintances, just not anyone that I hang out with all the time…no mom bff I guess

  3. I have given up trying to find just one mom friend. I make time for my old friend when I can and I causally interact with other mom at my son’s mygym classes. I am friendly with another dad but no other mom’s. One mom I exchanged number with I haven’t seen since :). But I’ll take an online friend!

    1. My first mom friends were all actually online blog moms! lol. I didn’t make any close mom friends in real life until my son was 3. I was very envious of those that had baby buddies! But it is crazy the way so many pieces have to fit together to make an actual friend now that our lives are dominated by a tiny tyrant who makes adult conversation nearly impossible.

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