Tomorrow my little bundle of joy that forever changed my world turns one. I can’t believe how fast it went, but to be honest, the first couple months went by in slow motion while everyone told me how fast it actually goes. It’s hard to really embrace that during those sleepless nights and days of feeding and screaming and crying (for both of us). But then after a few months it starts going fast, and then it feels like you can’t slow it down and you’d take those slow first weeks back in a heartbeat.
It was during those months and this past year that I learned everything I thought about babies was wrong. And every judgmental thought I ever had about kids or parenting was wrong. I never thought I knew everything. I knew I was pretty clueless, but I still had opinions about things like daycare, working, or just having a messy kid covered in food stains. And then I learned until you have a kid, you have no clue what you will be like on the other side of labor.
I can honestly say I ran to daycare like a drowning woman to a lifeboat as soon as Keelan was old enough. I needed a break. I needed some “me time” back. I needed to get back to work after a few failed attempts at bringing the baby to work with me. You try lacing someone up in a corset with a fussy baby strapped to your chest. I may dress like Wonder Woman at times, but I discovered I cannot actually do it all, and I do need help.
And then a funny thing happened after I finally did get back to work and got some me time. I missed Keelan all day long. I looked at his pictures all day, I took any chance I could to leave work early and I discovered my heart wasn’t in working 24-7 anymore. This little guy had come along and stole my heart away. My business used to be my baby, but it paled in comparison to my actual baby.
So here I am, packing up my store after seven great years and closing the doors to go back to where I started 10 years ago, as a website – ThreeMusesClothing.com. I really enjoyed my experience running the boutique. I met so many great people and had a lot of fun. And maybe, a few years down the road when K starts school, I might open a boutique again. But for now, all I want to do is be mommy. I want to soak it up, revel in it and enjoy every minute of this amazing little boy. Moving back online and away from the daily demands of the brick and mortar shop gives me the freedom to do that.
Being a mom is a challenge, a blessing and a complete life changing experience. I am immeasurably thankful I finally get to experience this. So Happy First Birthday Keelan! You are so incredibly loved by so many. I love watching you grow and learn and look forward to all the adventures we will have.
2020 Update: Keelan just turned five and was in preschool until the COVID-19 pandemic hit. I was starting to get back to work with blogging and a bit of costume making, but now I’m back to mostly doing the stay-at-home-mom thing. I can say I don’t think I want to open a boutique again! And I only kept the website going for a little bit after writing this. Being a SAHM was way more intense than I thought it would be. I don’t regret my choice to close my business and do it, but man am I glad he starts kindergarten in the fall! At least, I really hope he will. The world is a bit weird right now with social distancing and safety protocols.